


eight months

by elliewritesthings



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Body Worship, Coming Untouched, Cuddling & Snuggling, Embarrassment, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Humor, M/M, Masturbation, Pining, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Praise Kink, Premature Ejaculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-17
Updated: 2015-05-17
Packaged: 2018-03-29 05:11:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 29,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3883588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elliewritesthings/pseuds/elliewritesthings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“So I’m old enough to risk my life taking down titans but I’m not old enough to love you?” Eren quips, and while this time he purposefully goes for sassy, his voice hitches up near the end – it’s the first time he’s used the word ‘love’ to describe the emotions he has towards his Captain, but that’s what it is in its purest form, he now realizes: selfless, unwavering love that knows no bounds.</p><p>With a short nod, Levi replies, “That’s right.” His expression doesn’t change, but Eren’s sure he must know how ridiculous his demand is. However, he’s well aware that Levi’s not easily swayed, so with a dejected sigh, he drops his shoulders down.</p><p>Eight months. Well, it’s still better than a ‘no’.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Wait,” Levi says and Eren stops instantly, his pulse still pounding in his ears like mad.

Levi’s hand is laying against his chest, pressing down firmly to keep him from closing the distance between their lips, but what’s more important is that Levi’s hand is on him, Levi’s touching him, even if through his clothes, and all that goes through Eren’s head is an endless stream of _fuckfuckfuck_.

To be honest, he hadn’t planned on confessing to the Captain on this particular day – of course he’d imagined how it might go countless times, usually while lying in bed at night with his hand down his pants, but none of that had ever been a reality to him until now. His intense crush on Humanity’s Strongest had formed years ago, and by now had spiraled so wildly out of control that it was starting to hinder their day to day training.

Said teenage crush had now led him to stutter out an awkward love confession, leaned over Levi’s desk and only inches away from those tempting lips he’d spent many nights fantasizing about. But Levi had told him to stop, so stop he did, hovering there with his cheeks growing redder by the minute as the silence between them stretches out.

“I’m sorry, sir,” Eren finally breathes out when it hits him, horrified and embarrassed. Perhaps he’d misread it all, the approving glances that lingered on him during training, the subtle compliments about his cleaning and the tension that could be cut with a knife every time the two of them happened to be alone. Of course, he’s well aware that Captain Levi’s way out of reach for someone like him, but for just once, for one brief moment frozen in time when he’d decided to lean over his desk, he had actually dared to believe otherwise.

In addition to the searing humiliation, ice cold panic also washes over him. Levi could easily report him for assaulting a superior officer, even if in the dim light of his office his expression looks softer somehow.

“Don’t be,” Levi states as he leans back in his chair, putting even more space between them. Even now his face betrays no particular emotion. “You have nothing to apologize for.” His hand falls down from Eren’s chest and Eren’s oddly disappointed at the loss of contact, but just as told earlier, he waits and watches Levi gather up some of the paperwork that’s been laying on his desk.

After a while has passed without either one of them saying a word, Eren clears his throat awkwardly. “Captain, sir,” he starts off, trying to come up with any excuse that’ll get him out of Levi’s office with some of his dignity still intact, but is soon interrupted by a drawn-out sigh.

Levi raises his eyes to look at him for the first time since he barged in, and the look on his face turns to one Eren’s never seen before – apprehensive, but with just a dash of astonishment and some other emotion Eren cannot quite place. “Do you realize that I’m nearly old enough to be your father?” he asks with a tilt of his head and Eren’s heart drops.

“Nearly,” he emphasizes, “and yes, I do realize that.” It comes out as more than dejected, as much he tries to chase off the disappointment in his voice. To be honest, disappointment is all he should’ve expected.

“What were you even thinking?” Levi questions, more curious than accusing, his fingers tapping an unsteady rhythm against the wooden surface of his desk.

Though Eren prays for the floor to open up and swallow him whole, nothing happens – he’s left standing there and staring at his feet intently while Levi continues to stare him down. “I wasn’t really thinking,” he mutters. He feels sharp tears of shame swell up at the corners of his eyes and blinks rapidly to get rid of them. “Uh I’ll just go now, sir. Sorry.”

With a sudden move forward, Levi intones, “Stop apologizing.” While he seems mostly unaffected, Eren can pick up the slight annoyed edge in his voice. “And I don’t remember dismissing you yet. Sit down.”

No, that’s not an option he has to get out, he has to get out now or he’s going to break down, because this was a terrible mistake and he’s a fucking idiot for thinking otherwise. “Sir, if you’re going to reject me, please just do it quickly,” Eren chokes out as he attempts to trample down his directionless anger into nothing more than a smoldering ember, but the object of his affection staring him down from the other side of the desk only adds more fuel to the flame.

Starting to sound a bit frustrated, Levi states, “I’m not rejecting you. Sit your ass down, Jaeger.”

Among all the possible responses, Eren hadn’t expected that one.

Nevertheless, he sinks down on the bench off to the side, acutely aware of Levi observing his every move. The intense stare causes his knees to wobble a little, so being allowed to take a seat comes as a relief. As Levi files the paperwork away into one of his drawers, Eren takes the opportunity to discreetly dab at his eyes with his sleeve to rid of the traces of moisture that still linger there. He’s royally fucked himself over, yes, but somehow he thinks that reporting him isn’t the first thing on Levi’ mind – the Captain’s expression remains as impassive as ever, but the way he’s eyeing Eren suggests that he’s at least not completely disgusted.

A couple of moments pass before Levi speaks up. “Why, though?” he questions, brows knit together as if the entire concept of Eren having a thing for him is so bizarre that he can’t quite grasp it.

Eren slouches down and contemplates sliding all the way down to the floor and out of sight. Maybe that would get him out of having to talk about his infatuation. “I’m sorry, sir, I didn’t mean to.” Despite of the order to stop apologizing, the traitorous words slip out from his mouth on their own. Though he tries, he can’t hold Levi’s inquiring stare and instead drops his eyes to his shoes. “I’ve always admired you a lot, and…,” It feels like there’s something stuck at the back on his throat, so Eren has to swallow a few times before he continues. “I know it’s not fair of me to put you in a situation like this but I can’t bear the way my heart aches whenever you so much as look at me.”

There’s a faint crash and his head snaps up just in time to catch the look of astonishment that briefly passes over Levi’s face. His empty tea cup is laying shattered on the floor where he’d accidentally knocked it and he cusses under his breath as he leans over to pick up the shards. As he does so, Eren gets a good look of the tips of his ears that are taking on a faint shade of red.

I’m not rejecting you, he’d said earlier. For some reason that statement is sinking in only now as Eren watches his hands trembling a little while he gathers up the pieces of the teacup.

“Wait.” This time it’s Eren who says it, his mouth caught half-open as he tries to put all the pieces together. Voice laced with uncertainty, he repeats, just to make it clearer for himself, “You’re not rejecting me?”

It takes a few seconds for Levi to react to that, and when he does, he speaks as if he hadn’t heard the question echoed back at him. “Exactly. Wait,” he states with an absent-minded tone, looking a little disoriented as he rakes a hand through his hair. “You’re really young, it’ll pass. Just wait it out.”

Something in those words sounds so final, but Eren’s nowhere near done with the conversation. His hands clench into fists by his sides as he releases a long, pained exhale. “What fucking answer is that?” he demands, hating how the pitch of his voice rises uncontrollably near the end. The instinct to flee is still there, but now it’s been joined with the urge to grab Levi by the shoulders and demand a proper answer, even a crudely worded refusal would be just fine. “Just give me a yes or no and just, just let me get out of here and bury myself in a deep hole or something.” While Eren’s aware that he must sound like a child having a temper tantrum, he knows that this isn’t something he can wait out – he’s tried that until now with no results.

There’s the tiniest hint of a smirk on Levi’s lips, which just further infuriates Eren. “It’s not a no,” he ends up replying. “Wait for a bit and ask me again later.”

“For how long?” Eren snaps with his jaw clenched and face flaming red with both embarrassment and agitation.

“Eight months,” Levi states plainly, causing Eren to frown.

“Why eight months?” he asks. As far as he’s concerned, that’s an eternity – maybe he could try haggling it down somehow?

What Levi says next, however, stops those thoughts in their tracks. “You turn eighteen in eight months’ time,” he intones as he examines his fingernails with an intensity that seems just a bit too much for their situation, and once Eren catches the implication, his mouth falls open to form a small ‘o’.

He sags against the back of the bench, anger slowly starting to dissipate with each second that passes. “So it’s an age thing,” he says and sighs. Of course. It comes as no surprise, since Eren would be lying if he claimed that he himself hadn’t worried about the same thing back in the day.

“It is,” Levi agrees with a strained nod, avoiding Eren’s stare by glancing up at the ceiling light.

It’s only a good thing that Levi isn’t watching him because Eren’s heart is already about to leap out of his chest as he stutters out, “So, uh, if I was eighteen right now, would it be a yes or a no?” He shouldn’t cling on to false hope like that, he’s well aware it’ll only end up in disappointment, but strictly speaking, Levi hadn’t yet said no.

There it is again, that trace of a smirk on Levi’s face that now seems to hold some hidden promise just for Eren. “You’re not eighteen right now, so I guess you’ll have to wait and see,” he remarks, and for a fleeting moment, something that almost resembles shyness flickers across his features. “I… I’m very fond of you, Eren. In more ways than one.”

His breath catches in his throat as he gawks at Levi, stares at him with no shame and watches his ears turn even redder. “You’re shitting me,” Eren croaks. He swears he can hear the sound of his own blood pounding through his veins like there are entire rivers crisscrossing beneath his skin, so loud that he’s sure Levi can hear it too.

“Language, Eren,” Levi scolds him, lacking all seriousness. “And I’m not.”

“You’re not,” Eren repeats in a dazed voice.

“Yeah.”

In a sudden turn of events, all of Eren’s assumptions have faded away and been replaced with raw bewilderment. He opens and closes his mouth a few times, but no words come out. Levi’s staring at him, intense grey eyes scoping out his reaction, and while his gaze doesn’t waver, the slight crinkle forming between his brows reveals that he’s just as out of his comfort zone as Eren.

“Wasn’t expecting that,” Eren breathes out, purely because the silence is growing too much to bear. His hands are shaking a little and he balls them up into fists in his lap. He doesn’t mean for his next words to come across as impudent, but they probably do, anyway. “Why, though?”

Levi’s eyes narrow by just a fraction. “Wait eight months and ask me again. Until then, we’re done discussing about this.” Once he sees that Eren hasn’t taken the hint, he gives a wave of his hand. “Now you’re dismissed.”

While the order is clear, Eren doesn’t budge – partially because he’s still trying to process what’s just happened here but also because eight whole months is completely unreasonable. They’ve both laid their cards on the table and this is not the time to get caught up with such arbitrary matters.

“So I’m old enough to risk my life taking down titans but I’m not old enough to love you?” Eren quips, and while this time he purposefully goes for sassy, his voice hitches up near the end – it’s the first time he’s used the word ‘love’ to describe the emotions he has towards his Captain, but that’s what it is in its purest form, he now realizes: selfless, unwavering love that knows no bounds.

With a short nod, Levi replies, “That’s right.” His expression doesn’t change, but Eren’s sure he must know how ridiculous his demand is. However, he’s well aware that Levi’s not easily swayed, so with a dejected sigh, he drops his shoulders down.

Eight months. Well, it’s still better than a ‘no’.

“That’s forever,” he moans, and Levi gives him a pained glare.

“It’s eight months. You’ll live,” he replies. “Besides, it’ll give you plenty of time to think about it.” _And to change your mind._ Levi doesn’t say it, but it’s all too obvious that that’s exactly what he means.

He’s right, though – Eren’s suffered through three years with his hopeless crush, eight months is nothing next to that. However, if he must resign to this fate, he’s not about to leave completely empty-handed.

“Do I get a goodbye kiss or something?” Eren asks, trying to sound as innocent as he can. By the look that rises to Levi’s face, one could have thought that he’d suggested they copulate all night long. While Eren’s not against that, either, he figures it’s best to start out small.

“In eight months,” Levi replies, and the furrowed brows reveal that his patience is thinning.

Eren breathes out a sigh and sags like a half-empty sack of potatoes. “That’s not fair,” he mutters. _Don’t talk like a kid, don’t talk like a kid,_ he reminds himself, but it seriously isn’t fair. Does Levi take some sick enjoyment in toying with him? “What about a hug, then? Hugs are a totally normal thing for people of all ages.”

For a few moments, Levi’s silent as he considers the suggestion, eyes flicking over Eren again and again. With a small creak, he pushes his chair back rises to his feet. “Fine, if it’ll wipe that sullen look off your face.” 

Granted, it’s not as good as a kiss would’ve been, but Eren will take anything he can get. Even the prospect of a mere innocent hug from Captain Levi sends his thoughts scrambling, so a kiss would’ve probably resulted in him melting to a puddle of goo.

In a perfectly normal and appropriate gesture, Levi wraps his arms lightly around Eren and pulls him close into a hug. Time seems to slow down as Eren reaches out to return the embrace, his hands clammy and fumbling. He closes his eyes and focuses on the feel of Levi all around him – the faint press of his body against Eren’s and the barely-there scent of shampoo and laundry detergent along with a pinch of something that resembles tobacco and dry paper and all things adult, things that are eight whole months away from Eren’s grasp. He’ll have to make do with this, fingers clinging on to the rough linen of Levi’s shirt as his heart thuds in his chest like a caged wild animal.

It’s possibly one of the most awkward hugs ever since they’re not really standing that close to one another but it’s still nice, being so close to Levi that Eren’s almost dizzy. This is actually happening, whatever _this_ is, and it’ll happen even more in eight months’ time.

A gentle nudge from Levi brings him back to the moment. He has no idea how long the hug has lasted, but it doesn’t feel nearly long enough for his liking.

“That’s enough,” Levi asserts, not nearly as stern as usual. It takes a few more seconds for him to pull back and when he does, he looks Eren over almost questioningly.

“Okay,” Eren states. It’s not an answer of any kind but he feels like he should say something. “Okay. Sorry.”

“Don’t,” Levi tells him for what must be the hundredth time, lips turned downwards in a frown that Eren’s sure he could kiss off with ease. But he’s not allowed to yet.

“Okay. Eight months. It’ll be a breeze.” He’s not sure if he’s trying to convince Levi, himself or maybe both.

Levi nods as he draws even further back, away from Eren, so far away that Eren's skin aches at the places where Levi had touched him and it's one of the worst emotions he's had to endure.

“Yeah,” he says again, his stare fixed on Levi's hands that are now sadly going through paperwork instead of holding on to him. “Eight months. No big deal.”

Except that it is a big deal, as Eren soon comes to find out.

He can barely sit still for the next few weeks, especially whenever Levi's around. Which happens to be quite often, since he's their captain.

During one particularly memorable training session he crashes right into a tree because Levi had complimented on his handling of the 3DMG just seconds ago. While his bumbling seems to be a source of great amusement to the rest of his squad, the mounting frustration leaves him so irritable that he can barely function like a normal human being.

In addition to that, there's also a terrifying insecurity eating away at his resolution: for all his bravado, Eren's actual experience with relationships is shoddy at best, and let's not even go into how limited his knowledge is about the male kind of bonding. His trainee days had been full of careless handjobs in the latrines with the other cadets, but that didn't count as proper experience.

He's also had plenty of practice at playing his his own privates – even more so now when Levi hadn't said no to him. In eight months, it could be Levi's hand bringing him to completion once dark has fallen instead of his own hand that he's grown painfully familiar with. Eight months until he gets to do things with Levi.

God, that's too long.

Just as he's ready to pop from the tension like an angry balloon, aid comes to him in the most unlikely manner: in the form of a small, grey rodent.

Rats are regular guests in their headquarters, but lately there's been even more of them around, much to their Captain's disgust. They seem to have made their home in the food storage where they have plenty of vegetables to gnaw on and dark corners to breed in so that eventually it becomes impossible to pick up a potato with no bite marks on it.

During one afternoon spent entirely rigging the floor with traps for the damn things, Eren comes back to their quarters where he finds Armin sitting in his bunk, surrounded by tattered pages and looking like Eren had just caught him with him pants down.

“Hey,” Eren greets him, stopping in the middle of the floor. “What's all this?”

“Oh, it's just you.” Armin breathes out a sigh of relief. “The rats got to my stash hidden behind the crates of asparagus, so I'm shoving all these under my mattress until I figure something out.”

“Yeah, but what are these?” He plucks out one of the magazines that have remained mostly intact and is met with an eyeful of glistening asscheeks.

Armin rushes in to say, “It's not what it looks like.”

“This is porn,” Eren states. He turns the page, and yep, that's definitely porn.

“Supply and demand, what can you do,” Armin scoffs, lifting the corner of his mattress to slide in more of the magazines that all seem to have either ass or boobs or both on the cover. “I started off stocking mostly poetry and novellas, but none of it sold and people kept requesting porn, so porn it is. Can I hide a few of these in your bunk? Mine already feels like laying on a bed of rocks.”

“Yeah, sure,” Eren agrees quickly, his ears heating up as he looks over the array of bulging dicks pictured on the pages. “How come you never told me? Do you have a whole library in there?”

“It's a secret,” Armin replies, raising a finger to his lips. “I have a supplier in Sina who sends me new volumes each month with our regular shipment of food and other equipment. Just recently I received a book full of nature poetry with some really cool similes if you're interested.”

“Watch Humanity's mightiest dongs and tightest asses battle it out in a clash of cum and quivering buttocks,” Eren reads out as he flips the page. There are so many things wrong with that sentence that he doesn't even know where to start.

Armin sighs like he's been through this several times with several different people. “Apparently not, then.”

“I don't understand,” Eren starts off, genuinely confused and not aroused in the slightest. “Why are the dongs and asses fighting each other and not the titans?”

“Who knows. Yoink.” The magazine is plucked from his hands and dangled in midair as Armin gives him a stern look from the top bunk. “I run a business, though, not a library. Pay up if you want to keep reading. Friend prices, of course.”

A few measly coins are next to nothing when the intricacies of quivering buttocks are at stake, so Eren does pay up after a moment of consideration. Friend prices or not, his wallet is significantly lighter after the exchange. Armin assures him it’s money well spent – Dongs of the Counterattack is one of the few magazines printed in full colors and apparently has a rich history in showcasing gay erotica.

Though Armin doesn’t make any snide remarks, Eren knows he’s not dumb and must have connected the dots already. For goodness’ sake, Eren hadn’t only managed to pick the only gay military-themed magazine, but also the particular issue that contains a selection of reader-submitted short stories about doing the dirty with a superior officer. Yes, the bold, bright letters advertising the A-Z of anal sex had been what first attracted him, but as he leafs through the pages in his bunk that night while everyone’s asleep, Eren discovers that nearly all of it is relevant to his interests.

The loud snoring that carries over from the other side of the room is mostly keeping his boner in bay, so instead of relieving the pressure before stuffing the magazine hidden under his mattress he spends the night tossing and turning while visions of disembodied dongs and asses wielding 3DMG crowd his dreams, more disturbing than arousing. It’s nothing that a cold shower at the crack of dawn can’t chase off, and while he goes on with his duties for the day without too many thoughts of man-on-man loving clouding his brain, the magazine remains tucked away under the mattress, ready for him to freely peruse it.

Oh, and peruse it, he does. Purely for research purposes, mind you – he’s a man on a mission, not a hormone-driven teenager anymore. Besides, after nearly having Jean barge in while he’s doing some hands-on type of research, Eren decides that it’s best to stick with a more theoretical approach for the time being.

Of course, when taking on such a venture having only one source will not do. The article on the A-Z of anal sex is very comprehensive when it comes to the matters of the butt, but the rest of the stories and accompanied pictures suggest that there are many other ways for a man to love another man. Somehow Armin eventually talks him into buying a year-long subscription, so each month brings him not only closer to Levi, but also a new issue full of dongs and asses and other related topics. It pains him to think that such things are still eons away from him and that for the time being, his fantasies and own right hand are the next best thing.

There are some urges jerking off can’t satisfy, though. Unexpected, uninvited urges that creep in once darkness has fallen and his usually so narrow bunk starts feeling all too wide for one person. He doesn’t know how to explain it, not even to himself – during those moments of misplaced longing, all he can do is curl up as tightly as he can and wish for blessed sleep to deliver him from his melancholy.

Sometimes the curious sadness will strike during the day and leave him in a state of detachment. Like an empty shell, he goes through the everyday motions and gets all his chores done just fine, but all the while there’s something gnawing at him, leaving him more exposed with each moment that passes.

He’s not sure how he ends up seeking solace to it from Levi’s office. It just sort of happens, and then keeps on happening without either one of them questioning it.

All things considered, it’s not an unusual development in itself, but Eren’s more surprised by the fact that he’s met with comfortable silence instead of an order to quit loitering around and go back to his quarters. Maybe Levi can sense it from him somehow, the gloomy yearning hovering over him like a dark cloud. If he does, though, he doesn’t mention it, no doubt due to the fact that there are still months to go, endless months that stretch out into infinity.

So, whenever Eren finds himself floored with a sadness he cannot name, he’ll inevitably find his way to Levi’s office, usually close to nightfall since that’s when he’s most likely to find his Captain there. Not to talk, since he can’t even begin to try and voice it, but just to exist in this space that is somehow much more soothing than any other place in the castle. On some evenings they’ll exchange meaningless chatter, and on others Eren’s perfectly comfortable simply sitting there and staring at the flickering light of the candle that sits on the corner of Levi’s desk. On some evenings he’ll stare at Levi as he works, instead, and while the man points out that it’s kind of creepy, he doesn’t appear truly bothered.

There are certain limits, though, which Eren has discovered through trial and error. Plopping his ass down on the desk, right in the middle of Levi’s paperwork, is not allowed, and neither is kneeling on the floor by his feet. Both of these actions will earn him a strained glare and a command to stop fucking around, and there are several other behaviors that have the same kind of effect. It’s fun to test how far Levi will let him go, and though that seems to vary depending on the day, there’s always that brick wall he’ll eventually run into.

Strangely enough, one thing that Levi allows him to do is lay in his bed in the adjacent room as long as he keeps his clothes on. Any attempts of luring Levi into the bed with him are met with an admonishing headshake, so Eren’s left to lay there on his own, surrounded by sheets that are more comfortable and probably also more expensive than anything he’s ever had.

While the bed’s also much wider than Eren’s flimsy bunk, it doesn’t feel nearly as vast and lonely. Here he can bury his head into the pillow and surround himself in Levi’s scent, imagining what it could be like to have his warm, solid body right next to him, even if fully clothed. In fact, many of Eren’s fantasies are purely non-sexual – getting off is fun, yes, but what he craves even more than that is Levi’s hands caressing over his back and down along his sides, innocent touches that reaffirm to him that this is real, that even a fraction of all the mad love he has for Levi is returned. Closeness for the sake of closeness with no other motives than to immerse oneself in each other's presence.

As lovely as those kind of thoughts are, sometimes an overwhelming sense of doubt will creep in to ruin Eren's rosy red reveries. There's always the possibility that Levi's just stringing him along for his own amusement. The fact that Eren's eight months away from being a legal adult just happens to be a convenient excuse to keep him waiting and hoping, even though it's obvious that someone like Levi would never want to lay a hand on someone like him.

They're morbid scenarios, and perhaps not all that realistic, but when Eren lays there alone, surrounded with Levi's scent and the bedside candle casting long shadows across the floor, they feel like the honest truth.

During those nights, he'll bury his face deeper into the pillow, eyes squeezed shut tightly while he chokes back the tears. It's his own fault for getting his hopes up and being such a fucking idiot, it's his own damn fault, but that knowledge doesn't ease the tightness in his chest one bit. Once the tears start flowing it's impossible to stop them, which makes him feel even more worthless. So he lays there, shoulders shaking with silent sobs until comforting sleep takes hold of him.

Levi never comments on it, but the fact that he lets Eren sleep in his bed through the whole night undisturbed after his crying fits already tells something. In the morning before Eren rushes off to breakfast, he'll stop him with a wave of his hand and wrap his arms around him in a hug, and while it's often short and awkward and stiff, just like the man himself, it helps to alleviate any doubts left in Eren's mind.

Besides, eight months isn't really forever. As time ticks by, it turns into seven months, then six, and before Eren even realizes it, there's only a week left to go before his birthday.

By now there's so much porn hidden under his mattress that he could probably start up a rivaling business all on his own, and while he considers himself an expert on dongs, his stomach is aflutter with nerves throughout the week.

Aside from dongs, there are so many other things – kisses, touches, hugs, and for some reason, most of the porn he's read has skimmed over those, and they're exactly what Eren would like more elaboration on. The closer his birthday gets, the more jumpy he becomes, and the itch to just reach out and touch Levi, to run his hands through his silky hair or to lick over the pale stretch of skin peeking out from under his collar is becoming too much to handle.

On the morning of his birthday, Eren wakes up to a cupcake in his face and a discordant rendition of 'Happy Birthday'. He can't help but to laugh, blowing out the candle with that one very specific wish in mind that's he's harbored for ages that will hopefully come true today.

The cupcake tastes a lot better than the stale bread at breakfast, which holds a faint aroma of rat poison, of all things. Apparently the traps hadn't worked, so more drastic measures were needed. That doesn't concern Eren, though – his day is spent with Hanji, who'd insisted on doing a variety of experiments with him.

Birthday or no birthday, she seems intent on working him until he drops dead. Finally, after hours of poking and prodding, she's apparently gained some results, clapping Eren on the shoulder cheerfully.

“Very good, I think that's all for today,” she says with a nod and sends him on his way, but not before winking and wishing him a fun evening, to which Eren responds with a blank stare.

She couldn't possibly know, right?

Eren's done his best to keep his infatuation hidden, but he's sure that his recent restlessness hasn't gone unnoticed. There are no other suspicious comments made by anyone for the rest of the day, though, unless you count the knowing smile Armin gives him when he says he'll go off to shower.

And he does actually take a shower, mind you. From all of the unrealistic porn he's read, there's at least one thing he's learned: preparation is key.

Thankfully there's no-one else in the communal showers during the evenings because they'd catch him with his ass in the air and nozzle aimed at his hole as he cleans himself out, even daring to ease a finger or two inside. It's an incredibly tight fit, but as Eren continues to loosen himself up, the pain turns into pleasure soon enough. While he knows that the chances of someone actually walking in on him are slim to none, it's arousing beyond belief to be in such a vulnerable position, his cheeks spread out and cock half-hard for all to see just how much he's been waiting for this night.

Once he's sufficiently clean and no longer at half mast, he dresses up and takes one last look at himself from the mirror hanging on the washroom wall to make sure he's presentable. His face looks exactly the same as yesterday, though yesterday he'd still been a child and today he's supposed to be a man.

The halls are empty as he makes his way to Levi's quarters, stopping just by the door to his office. It dawns on him that this is it, this is what he's been craving all this time, just a few steps away.

Eren knocks on the door once, a quiet sound that echoes in the empty corridor. Once he hears Levi call him inside, he grasps the door handle and pulls it open with ease, holding in his breath as he steps over the threshold.

Just as on so many nights before, Levi's office is lit only by a couple of candles. He looks up from behind his desk as Eren enters, his gaze dark and heavy upon him.

Eren clears his throat. “Hi.”

“Hello,” Levi replies with a tilt of his head, and Eren doesn't know if he's just imagining it but his voice sounds lower than before somehow. “How are you doing, Eren?”

“It's my birthday,” Eren states, and after a short pause during which they merely size each other up, he adds, “I'm eighteen now.”

“I'm aware.” The paperwork is pushed aside as Levi focuses all of his attention on Eren at last.

“Are you going to give me a birthday present?” It's the corniest line ever, but it had sounded a lot smoother in Eren's head. Nevertheless, it makes Levi crack a tiny smile.

“And what would you wish for your birthday?” he asks, eyes flickering to meet Eren's for the briefest of moments.

Without thinking, Eren flicks out his tongue to lick over his lips. “A kiss.”

“Is that so?” Levi drawls. Before showing any signs of granting Eren's wish, he takes an excessively long time to file away his paperwork neatly in the drawers of his desk.

The movement of his slim fingers in the faint light of the candle is so transfixing that Eren stares at them without even bothering to mask his interest. Those fingers are going to be touching all over him soon, spreading him wide open and stroking at his most sensitive, private places.

Levi catches him staring, but instead of a snarky remark, he only gestures at him. “Come here,” he commands, and Eren’s quick to take a few steps forward. Suddenly the room feels a lot hotter as Levi rounds the table and comes to stand in front of him, sizing him up from head to toe.

Apparently satisfied with what he sees, he intones, “You look nervous.” His expression is as blank as ever but the tiniest bit of concern laced in his voice makes Eren’s stomach flutter even more.

“I am, just a little,” he replies with a strained laugh. If he wanted to, he could reach out right now and touch Levi, trail up along his stomach and pause to fiddle with the buttons of his shirt before coming to stroke at the bared skin on his neck.

“That’s okay,” Levi says, and the movement of his throat muscles as he speaks is utterly fascinating to Eren. “Just make sure to speak up right away if you get too uncomfortable.”

He raises his hand, and Eren’s eyes are glued to his fingers as they come to rest by his shoulder. It’s just a light, casual touch, but his skin still burns at the sensation. Levi shifts a little closer, his lips parted slightly.

“A kiss, then,” he murmurs as he tilts his head up. All Eren can do is nod because he’s sure that he’s going to pass out any minute now – Levi’s right there in front of him, so bared and unguarded for once, and there’s no mistaking the subtle, affectionate look he’s giving Eren, Eren, of all people.

With a shaky nod, Eren raises up his arms that have been hanging by his sides and winds them around Levi’s waist cautiously. When all he gets in response is an approving hum, he grows bolder and slides his hand upwards, taking comfort in how steady and firm Levi’s back is against his palm. There’s nothing to be nervous about, Eren’s told himself over and over again, he’ll be safe here with Levi’s attentive gaze on him and gentle fingertips caressing the side of his face, but there’s still blinding panic lurking in the corners of his mind.

The very first kiss is as chaste as they come, just a light peck on the lips that sends Eren’s head spinning wildly. He’s tensing up, he’s well aware, but luckily the soothing touches that ghost through his hair ease him a little. All he can think of is how wonderful Levi’s lips feel against his, lightly chapped and deliciously warm.

“Relax, Eren,” Levi urges him quietly, breath fanning out over his lips. Both of his hands are twined into Eren’s hair now, angling his head for better access. “That’s it, open your mouth a little.” Eren does as told and soon feels Levi’s lips pressing against his more firmly. When he slides his tongue over Eren’s teeth, Eren makes a soundless gasp. It’s so intimate somehow, especially knowing how strict Levi is about hygiene, and still, here he is with his tongue in Eren’s mouth exchanging saliva.

Not to mention how sweet it is, Levi’s hands stroking through his hair as he kisses him with all the gentleness he can muster – Eren knows that he’s holding back, knows it from the way his shoulders are tensing up and the rest of his body is carefully angled away from Eren. Once it hits him that Levi wants him, truly wants him in all possible ways, Eren has a hard time to keep the tears from welling up in his eyes, though this time they’re tears of desperate, joyful yearning instead of shame.

Levi draws back all too soon and a faint whimper leaves Eren before he can stop himself. That’s not what catches Levi’s attention, though – there’s a look of alarm on his face as he wipes at Eren’s eyes carefully. “Are you okay?” he asks in a hushed voice, the question filled with such honest care that it only makes it even more difficult to hold back the tears.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Eren mutters. His face must be bright red by now, but Levi’s still looking at him like he’s the most divine thing he’s ever seen. “Just… uh, I’m sorry, I guess.”

The expression that rises to Levi’s face could almost be called a pout. “I thought we talked about you apologizing too much earlier,” he reminds Eren, only a little agitated. “What are you sorry for now?”

It should’ve been obvious by now from his slack mouth and clumsy hands that can’t find any other place than around Levi’s neck. “I’m not very good with, um, kissing and stuff,” Eren sighs as he looks down, sure that Levi’s going to laugh at him for what he’s about to say. “Like, I haven’t really done it with anyone, or not properly at least.” He’s not counting the little experiments back in his trainee days because that had been nothing like this – this is Levi, strong, witty, capable Levi who's somehow graced Eren with his affection even though Eren’s surely not worthy of it.

As if to cast aside all his doubts, Levi brushes his fingers down along Eren’s cheek, intense grey eyes staring into his. “You’re just fine, Eren. Better than fine,” he states firmly, and when he’s speaking in such a praising tone, Eren can’t do anything else than believe him. “You’re absolutely perfect.”

For a long time, they do nothing but hold one another, Eren's breath slowly calming down as Levi winds his arms tighter around him. His head is still spinning in nervous circles but it's a good kind of nervousness that drives him to press closer and trail his fingertips over the wide of expanse of Levi's shoulders.

“I love you,” Levi tells him matter-of-factly and Eren feels his cheeks heat up. “I thought I should say that out loud. As an answer to your question from eight months ago.”

It's as if there's something weighing down on Eren's chest as he wheezes out a low squeak from the bottom of his lungs. “Say it again,” he requests feebly.

The careful touches creep up under the hem of his shirt and dance their way up his back. “I love you,” Levi repeats, and though he's not quite smiling, there's a certain tenderness lingering in the curve of his lips.

It may be selfish of him but Eren wants to hear those words again and again, spoken against his skin in a barely audible whisper, groaned into his ear with carnal passion, he wants it all. Those three tiny words, combined with Levi's arms wrapped around him and his warm gaze focused solely on Eren, set alight every inch of him with a euphoria that spreads all the way from the top of his head to the tips of his toes and quite possibly causes his face to flush bright red. He feels like he's almost vibrating in place – Levi loves him, _loves_ him, loves _him_ , him of all people.

Now Levi's mouth is curving into a smile and it's the most beautiful thing Eren's ever seen in his life. “Again?”

Eren swears he can near his neck cracking with how quickly he nods. “If you wouldn't mind.”

Then Levi says it to him for the third time and it's still the sweetest sound to ever grace Eren's ears. The fourth and the fifth time are pressed along his jawline, accompanied by light kisses that send sparks through him. Eren loses count after the seventh since at that point he's not even sure if it's Levi or himself saying it. Mumbled noises pass from between both of their lips whenever they break apart for a few breaths, hands clutching on to anything they can find. In addition to his own heartbeat hammering away in his ears, Eren can hear urgency thrumming up from all the places Levi's hands have touched him, each and every cell in his body keening and shivering and trying to get closer. There's a faint sound of fabric being ruffled as their bodies slot together and tentative, aimless steps drag across the floor.

It isn't until Eren stumbles a little and reaches out to hold on to the doorframe for support that he notices they're slowly and clumsily making their way into Levi's bedroom, limbs tangled up in one another. When he tries to get back to kissing Levi again, he's stopped by a hand on his chest in a move that eerily reminds him of their first encounter eight months ago.

This time Levi doesn't deny him, though, only looks at him with cautious, intense eyes and asks, “Are you sure?”

To emphasize exactly how sure he is, Eren brings his hands up to cup Levi's face, thumb carefully brushing over his cheek. “I love you,” he says again, so much emotion packed into his voice that it nearly cracks halfway.

Though Levi's face softens at that, his mouth remains set in a worried line. “That doesn't mean you have to do something you're not ready for.”

“I'm so ready.” He bends down to collide his lips with Levi's and finds that it's the perfect angle for sliding his tongue even deeper into Levi's mouth. He's been ready for eight months and beyond, and even now it feels like his whole being trembles with the need to have it all at once, Levi's hands and mouth everywhere on his body, his essence filling Eren to the brim until there's nothing left in between them.

They tumble onto the bed in a tangle of awkward limbs, Levi under him with his back leaning against the wall and hands steadying by Eren by the hips. “There's no rush, though,” Levi assures him quietly, their foreheads resting together as Eren reaches up to twiddle with the collar of his shirt. “We can take it slow.”

Eren nods in agreement as he settles into Levi's lap, trying to calm down his whirling thoughts. This is real, he tells himself over and over again, this is actually happening and the solid feel of Levi's muscles right under his fingertips are concrete proof of that. “Okay. Yeah,” he stammers, not quite sure what to do with his hands, so in the end he resorts to winding his arms loosely around Levi's neck. There are so many things he wants to say, so much affection he's kept locked up for so long that now he has no idea how to even begin to unravel it into words. “That sounds nice.”

He tries to lean forward but is held back by determined fingers stroking at his jaw and keeping his head still. “Let me get a proper look at your handsome face,” Levi intones, his mouth curving into a smile and his attentive gaze trained on Eren, who cannot hold back the barely audible whimper. Light touches ghost along his cheekbones and over his parted lips, coming to rest by the shell of his ear. “How gorgeous.”

The flush starts from somewhere in his abdomen, blooming up from there and coloring his face with a light shade of red. There are a dozen objections to that statement dancing on the tip of his tongue – honestly, he's highly aware of his gangly long limbs and mess of hair and features that still carry some of their childish softness despite of his coming of age.

“Oh,” is all he manages to respond before Levi leans in to kiss him again. It's kind of a shame since Eren would've liked to hear more kind words, but the glide of Levi's tongue over his does feel nearly just as sweet.

In his haste to get closer, Eren's crotch makes brief contact with Levi's thigh, and as he glances down as discreetly as he can, he notices that he's already rock hard in his pants. This is nothing like he'd ever imagined, being with Levi – it's so much better. Every little touch and kiss is dragging him in deeper and adding on to the arousal that's been swirling in his head ever since he knocked on the door. Besides, when Levi's looking at him so gently and stroking over his hips with loving motions, how could he not get worked up?

“Please,” Eren murmurs, rubbing further into Levi, his cock straining against the confines of his pants. He's hopelessly lost and grasping on to Levi, pleading for something more, more words, more kisses, more of everything.

“There, there.” A light kiss is pressed into his hair. “We have all the time in the world. I’m going to kiss each and every part of your body.”

A simple compliment or two shouldn't cause such a wild tremble of lust to stir up from within him, but there he is, heart and other parts of his body pounding and yearning for Levi to go on. Luckily they're kissing again and, a lewd moan rising up from Eren's throat. Every single fibre in his being is tense with need as he shifts around in a mindless search for more friction. It's nothing short of perfect being held by Levi, all of his body melting against Eren's so divinely that he can barely take it.

“I can’t wait to see all of you,” Levi breathes against his lips in what's just a low whisper, and that does it for Eren. Spasms wreck over his body as he comes, a high, garbled moan falling from him. He clings on to Levi with a desperate grip, his cock shooting out hot strands of come that stain his underwear, sticky wetness clinging on to his skin.

Once the sharp waves of pleasure are subsided and his head's slowly starting to clear, horrifying embarrassment floods over him.

“Did you...” Levi speaks out in a hesitant voice, a tiny crease in his brow as he nods downwards, “uh, just from that?”

Instead of a proper response, Eren clamps his hands over his face to hide his bright red blush and the tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. “Don't,” he croaks. There's a painful burning shame that gnaws at him, leaving a hollow space where there'd previously been expectant bliss, and all of the sudden Levi's hands holding onto him feel more like they're passing judgement rather than keeping him grounded.

When he tries to wiggle away, Levi seizes him by the arm. “Hey, Eren, it's okay.” His voice is so full of kindness that Eren can no longer hold back the tears that begin to fall. As much as he likes to think of himself as all grown up and worthy of this, it seems that he really is just an inept, horny teenager after all. “Come on, look at me.”

“No,” he protests weakly, barking out a hysterical, teary laugh. “Oh God, this is awful. Um, just give me a while and I'll be going, I'm sorry, let's just forget about this whole thing.”

“Eren, no,” Levi states in a firm voice. “Drop your hands.”

Panic soars through him and he buries his face deeper into his hands though he's sure that the shaking of his shoulders is giving away his mortification. “No,” he sniffles, curling into himself as if to disappear right there and then.

Now Levi's sounding genuinely concerned. “Are you crying?”

“I'm not!” It comes out as an strangled groan, telling a whole different story than his actual words. He hears Levi give a sigh, his grip on Eren loosening by just a fraction.

“I wouldn't stop you, but please don't go yet. Talk to me.” The despairing edge in his voice is what makes Eren halt his attempts at escaping the situation. He allows his head to rest on Levi's shoulder, face still hidden in his hands. Though the shadow of embarrassment continues to hover over him, at least the panic that's been swirling around in his head is no longer as debilitating as before.

“I don't know,” he starts off, only to fall silent moments later. “I'm sorry.”

“No apologies. I'm going to keep reminding you of that.” Levi's rubbing at his back with comforting, if a little hesitant, motions. “Now, what's the matter?”

Eren forces out a hoarse laugh. “Isn't it obvious? I didn't exactly plan on, uh, things going that fast.”

Levi's tone is mildly curious as he asks, “What did you plan on, then?”

A million different images flash before his eyes, but there's one thing they all share in common and that's Levi's dick in his ass. It was supposed to be an erotic night full of dongs and asses, and instead he chose to ruin it by blowing his load from just a few kisses and then having a minor breakdown about it.

Once he's stammered all of that out, voice still shaking with uncertainty, Levi blows out a long exhale.

“Eren, no,” he begins patiently. “You haven't ruined anything. We're going to get up soon and take a bath to get you cleaned up, maybe share a few drinks to celebrate your birthday and just spend some time together, okay? Nothing more than that.”

“What about...” Eren falters a little, nudging his head towards Levi's crotch. It would be selfish of him to not return the favor. “Aren't you also, uh, do you want me to, um, do something about it?”

Despite of his unclear wording, it soon seems to dawn on Levi that he's referring to the state of Levi's cock. “Believe me, it went down the moment I noticed you crying.” He pulls at Eren's hair lightly to look over his face, and this time Eren allows him, arms falling loosely to his sides. There's a tiny frown lingering on Levi's features as he takes in Eren's wet eyes and splotchy cheeks, reaching out to wipe off some of the drying tears on his face. “I don't like seeing you sad. You have the prettiest, brightest smile I've ever seen.”

The expression he musters up at that is more of a lopsided quirk of the lips than a real smile, but it earns an approving nod from Levi nonetheless. The knots in Eren's stomach aren't quite as tight as before and when he speaks out, his voice only sounds a little uneven. “I wasn't crying,” he insists, more childish than angry this time as he rubs at his puffy eyes.

“Of course not,” Levi agrees and lets Eren settle back into the crook of his neck. It's as if some of that vague tension that's been hanging between them – or more accurately, that Eren's been building up in his head all these months – has eased its hold.

Levi's arms fit around his waist as if they'd always belonged there, and as he begins combing through Eren's hair with gentle strokes, only a few tiny shreds of worry remains at the back of Eren's mind – the majority of them are brushed away by Levi's calloused yet loving fingers.

It takes a long while before either one of them even suggests moving, but eventually they do end up in the bath together, the hot water and Levi leaning back against his chest while holding his hand ebbing away the last of Eren's anxiety.

“I have no idea what I'm doing,” Levi confesses to him then during a moment of calm silence.

Eren's eyes flicker down to glance over his face that remains mostly expressionless. “Uh, do you mean when it comes to, like, sex and stuff, or this whole thing with us, or just in general or something?” he asks.

Under the water, Levi twines his fingers tighter with his and sighs, “Yeah.”  
  
It leaves Eren with more questions and answers, but he squeezes at Levi’s hand to reassure him. “We’ll figure it out,” he says, trying to come across as convincing, even though he himself is just as lost. “It can’t be that difficult.”  
  
For a while, Levi is silent, and when he speaks up again, he sounds like he’s miles away. “Maybe you’re right.” It’s not the most optimistic of responses, but for now, after eight long months, it’ll do just fine.


	2. Chapter 2

His dreams are filled with oddly phallic shapes and curious touches that flow over him, and above all, warmth – safe, calming warmth that envelops him completely and whispers quiet words into his skin. Every part of his body is being touched by countless loving hands that stroke their way up his thighs and brush through his hair while also tracing along his jaw and down the side of his neck.

It’s so nice, being handled with such utmost care, and the ticklish motions cause Eren to squirm a little. He can feel wakefulness creeping in and though he tries to bury himself back into the wonderful sensations, gradually the touches on his skin fade away and what he feels instead is the weight of the blanket over him and the pair of arms wrapped around his shoulders. It takes him a while to remember where he is and what happened last night, but slowly it starts to sink in as he blinks the last traces of sleep out of his eyes.

Levi’s lying next to him and still sleeping peacefully, his nose buried in Eren’s hair and his arms wound around him like it’s no big deal. It is to Eren, though, because he can feel all of Levi pressed up against him, the muscles of his chest and his forearms firm and strong when Eren traces along them in awe.

There are some things from his dreams that haven’t vanished, namely the warmth blooming inside him but also the haze of arousal – as he shifts a little his erection digs into the mattress below him uncomfortably. It’s a natural thing to happen in the morning, especially when lying in bed with such a hot piece of ass, yet Eren’s still burning up with mortification.

He manages to wiggle around so that his back’s now pressed up against Levi’s chest and the morning visitor down below is hopefully less noticeable. It’s definitely there, though, tenting the crotch of his pants and commanding his immediate attention. If he could just worm his way out from Levi’s tight embrace and escape into the washroom to douse it with some cold water he’d be fine, having avoided the embarrassment of poking someone’s eye out with the damn thing.

Eren’s only gotten one of his arms free and is working on the other one when Levi groans into his hair. “Stop moving,” he mutters, voice hoarse and slightly irritated. Sleepy fingers caress down along his chest, and while it’s an exquisite sensation, it only adds to what’s going on downstairs. Luckily Levi’s too busy nearly purring into Eren’s hair and thus far doesn’t seem to have noticed Eren’s growing problem

“Can you let go of me?” Eren asks, deliberately angling his entire body further away just in case. Levi responds with a garbled moan, too tired for full sentences, so Eren tries again. “There’s, uh, I need to go and…”

His stuttering comes to a halt when Levi’s hand grazes over his nipple with too much precision for it to be an accident. “Yes, I noticed,” Levi yawns, his breath tickling Eren’s neck. “It kept rubbing up against me when you were squirming around.” Though he doesn’t sound particularly offended, Eren still flushes bright red at having been caught, the pit of his stomach suddenly aflame with nervous fluttering.

“I’m sorry, I’ll just go to the washroom to take care of it,” he says, all in one breath, but Levi makes a disgruntled noise at the request.

“Don’t go. You’re warm.” Levi’s right there behind him, soaking up all the warmth he’s supposedly giving off and clinging on to him possessively. “Just take care of it here, I don’t mind. As long as you don’t go anywhere.” Boners aside, the smallest hint of neediness in those words cause a whole another type of flutter to go through Eren as he clasps his fingers over Levi’s – no-one’s ever spoken to him in such tones before, voice muddled with sleep and fondness while holding on to him like he’s the only thing that matters.

All of him now flushed with embarrassment, Eren chokes out, “No, it’s fine, I’ll just go and…”

Levi nearly growls at his futile attempts to wriggle out of the bed. “Don’t go,” he mumbles as he pulls Eren back to his chest. It is warm, Eren has to admit, and to get to the washroom he’d have to tiptoe all the way across the cold stone floor. Here under a heavy blanket with loving arms around him is much more comfortable, but even though he tries telling that to his erection, it doesn’t go away.

Now that Levi’s breath is evening out again, Eren’s daring enough to reach down and palm at the sizeable bulge at his crotch that’s showing no signs of dying down. After glancing over at Levi and confirming that he’s fallen right back asleep against Eren’s shoulder without a care in the world, Eren carefully frees his cock from its confines, giving it a few hasty strokes.

Is he really going to do this? In Levi’s bed, with the man himself right there behind him?

All signs point to yes, especially his raging boner.

Pleasure blends in with discomfort as he works over his cock with rough hands, only searching for the blessed release that seems so far away – he just wants to come, wants to get it over with, but even though he’s jerking on it like he’s milking a cow, his orgasm isn’t getting any closer.

With a frustrated huff, Eren squeezes down on his cock more firmly. motions growing faster, almost frantic, as he presses further into Levi’s embrace. His eyes fall closed and in his mind it’s Levi doing the stroking, his grip relentless as he teases Eren, biting on his earlobe before whispering…

“Is that how you do it when you’re alone as well?”

The fantasy’s suddenly gotten all too real because that’s Levi’s actual voice, hoarse with sleep rather than lust, speaking into Eren’s neck. To be fair, those weren’t the exact words he’d imagined – he’d been thinking of something along the lines of ‘so pretty, aren’t you, so hard and desperate for it’ or maybe even ‘be a good boy for me, Eren, or I won’t let you come’.

Nevertheless, the sheer fact that Levi’s actually said something causes Eren’s eyes to fly open. A startled glance over his shoulder reveals that Levi’s wide awake and watching his furious masturbation, goodness knows for how long now. Though a part of Eren would have expected him to be disgusted, he only sees mild interest in Levi’s face, and perhaps even a hint of confusion. His eyes are glued on to Eren’s hand that has now ceased its movement over his cock, so it’s no use in hiding what he’s been up to. Eren tries, anyway, curling into himself as he feebly tugs more of the blanket over himself. Somehow the knowledge that Levi’s already seen it all makes him want to crawl under the bed and never emerge, but at the same time it also just adds to his arousal.

“I thought you were sleeping,” Eren groans. He’d bury his face in his hands to escape Levi’s questioning glare, but as his hands are too busy covering up his dangly bits – that are currently the opposite of dangly, mind you – he settles on ducking his head and staring at the corner of the pillow like it’s the most interesting thing in their present situation.

The long exhale from Levi sounds almost amused, fingers tickling down on the side of Eren’s torso and making him shudder. “I tried, but your violent whacking kept me awake,” he intones. “Seriously, it looks like you’re trying to rip it off or something. You always do it like that?”

Not in the mood to have his jerking mocked, Eren briefly wonders if just rolling out of the bed and onto the floor would be an option, then continuing to roll out the door and all the way back to his quarters with his raised ding dong propelling him on the way, of course. However, when he tries to move off, Levi gently holds him back again. “Hey, I asked you a question.”

“What do you mean? That’s how everyone does it,” Eren argues, frustration laced in his voice. He cannot believe they’re having a discussion about his chicken choking techniques, and most of all, he cannot believe that Levi seems to be implying he’s doing it wrong. It’s jerking off, all ways are correct as long as you blow your load in the end.

Eren’s entire train of thought is derailed by what Levi says next. The corners of his mouth pulling downwards into a small frown, he states, “I don’t do it like that.”

In an instant, Eren’s mind is filled with images of Levi pleasing himself, his head thrown back and pure, erotic bliss etched on his features, the firm muscles of his abdomen tightening as he drives himself closer to the edge. “Is that so?” he stutters out, imagining how Levi might sound just seconds before he comes, driven so mad with pleasure that the only thing he can do is lay back and release all over his stomach. “Uh, how do you do it, then?”

“Not like that.” The hand that’s been caressing at his side slides along his arm and makes its way towards where he’s covering his crotch, slow and light enough that Eren could easily bat it off if he wanted to, but while this is an unexpected development, it’s not at all unwelcomed. “You’re holding on too tight, doesn’t it hurt?”

“No,” Eren insists, a little indignant – it doesn’t really hurt, per se, at least not abnormally so. He’s about to deliver a brilliant rebuttal, but the slender fingers resting over his palm and just inches away from his cock require all of his attention. “Uh, what are you doing?”

Levi’s voice is low against the shell of his ear as he murmurs, “I’m showing you how to do it properly. Loosen your hold first.” He brushes over Eren’s knuckles in a surprisingly gentle caress, coaxing his grip into a more relaxed one. It’s not as rough as before, yes, but Eren can’t feel a thing like this let alone get himself off.

That’s what he thinks, at least, until Levi drags his hand up in a leisurely stroke that makes pleasant little tingles flare up from the base of his cock, so different from the harsh, burning pleasure Eren’s grown used to. When he glances down, pushing the blanket aside, he sees his own hand by the head of his cock and Levi’s fingers laid right on top of his as he helps Eren jerk off and it’s unbelievable how hot and bothered the sight gets him. Levi’s touching him so gently, actually touching him, are they really doing this?

“Yes, we are, as long as you want to.” Levi’s quiet voice speaking into his ear startles him a little and also makes him realize that he’s been babbling his thoughts out loud.

Despite of the disbelief lingering in the back of his mind, Eren does his best to sound assertive. “God, yes, you don’t even know how much I want it,” he chokes out. The smile Levi presses against his skin assures him to carry on with an even bolder statement. “Want you, want all of you.”

“So impatient,” Levi scolds him, though Eren’s sure he hears a breathless edge to his voice. A slow stroke of their intertwined fingers along his shaft leaves Eren gasping for air as well. “You should learn how to handle things by yourself first, don’t you think?”

“I know how to handle things,” Eren claims once he’s gotten his voice back. “I’ve done it countless times before.”

Levi’s tone is nearly pitying as he states, “I’m surprised your dick hasn’t fallen off yet from all that yanking. You have to learn to take it slow.” He brings Eren’s hand to glide up again, stopping just a fraction away from the sensitive head. “It’ll feel much better when you’re not rushing.”

All Eren’s feeling so far is impatience, his hips wriggling as if on their own while he resists the temptation to forgo all instruction and return to his trusty fervent stroking. Levi’s hand is resting over his firmly enough to keep him from getting ahead of himself, but he doesn’t stop Eren when he reaches up to press at the head of his cock in slight circles, searching, exploring, trying out what feels good.

“Like this?” he breathes out in a questioning voice while Levi returns to tracing over his knuckles idly.

“That’s good, Eren, just like that. You don’t even have to use that much pressure.” The advice hardly registers to Eren because he’s too hung up on the first part, the flush on his face intensifying – Levi said he’s being good, and while it’s only a couple of measly words, the statement causes all sorts of new fantasies to bubble up from the darkest pits of his mind.

The high-pitched moan tumbles from his mouth before he knows it, so goddamn needy and pitiful that he clamps his other hand over his mouth in an instant.

“Don’t do that, you sound lovely,” Levi chides him gently. He pries Eren’s clammy hand away and links his fingers with Eren’s. Lovely, lovely, the word rings in Eren’s head over and over again, Levi said he’s lovely and he must look like a mess right now with a bright red face and awkward limbs but none of that matters because Levi thinks he’s lovely.

It seems that Levi can read him all too well since he questions in a cautious voice, “Is that what you’re into, me praising you?” Yes, yes, every single cell in Eren’s body screams out, but he can’t get the answer to leave his lips, can’t bear to admit how much he itches for Levi’s approval. “I kind of noticed that last night.”

A choked sob escapes Eren when Levi strokes their hands along his cock again, torturously slow. “Yes,” he grinds out, eyes falling closed as he sags back against Levi’s chest, defeated yet relieved at the same time. “Oh God, yes, please.” He breaks off into a whine at the end when Levi dips just a bit lower to trace over his balls.

“It’s okay, don’t be shy, now,” Levi soothes him, continuing the strokes over his cock. “I’ve got you, just relax and be a good boy for me.”

The noise that erupts from Eren resembles a dying animal but he doesn’t even care, all he cares about is their hands on his cock and the thought that maybe, just maybe, as long as he’s good enough, Levi will reward him with more praises. Keeping that wonderful prospect in mind, he does his best to seize his wriggling and relax into the arms that are encircling him, just as told, because he so desperately wants to be a good boy, so desperately wants to please Levi, but it’s so damn difficult staying in line when those firm hands are touching over him and Levi’s right there behind him whispering intimacies into his ear.

“Eren, you’re holding on to it too tightly again.” The reminder jolts him out of haze and as he lessens the intensity of his grip, Levi gives an approving hum. “That’s better, go on.” His hand retracts from over Eren’s but still lingers by his forearm, ready to assist. “Make sure to touch all the way up to the head, really take your time with it.”

Naturally Eren does just as instructed, tracing along the shaft and feeling his cock give a slight twitch as he rubs over the head, thin, clear strands of precome clinging on to his fingertips. The erection straining against his stomach, flushed and firm, is yearning for more, faster, hotter, anything and everything at once, but Eren knows that he’s not allowed to do that.

Being watched so carefully by Levi’s dark eyes is sending waves of nervous arousal through him – perhaps it’s just his imagination running wild, but he’s convinced that Levi’s scoping out his every reaction and every move, assessing not only his performance but his entire being, and that’s one hell of an incentive to be good.

Eren strokes along his cock as gently as he can, which is not an easy task with Levi’s gaze focused on him and only him. Compared to the almost painful build-up, this feels more like ticklish jitters, a fizzy kind of delight that’s brought to simmer not only by the touch of his own hand but also by Levi’s mere presence behind him.

When he runs his fingers over the head again, Levi presses a tiny kiss against his shoulder in a gesture that seems oddly chaste for their situation and mutters, “Just relax. That’s it, Eren, you’re doing so well.”

There it is, that sparkling high that floods over him and has him calling out in a half-sob, “Oh God, Yes. Please, more.” The embarrassment from before is still there just under the surface, but damn it, he wants, no, _needs_ more kind words from Levi so much that he’s not above begging.

A heated hand rubs over Eren’s abdomen in steadying circles. “Of course, don’t worry. I wouldn’t leave you hanging,” Levi intones. “Especially when you’re asking so nicely, what a good boy.” Though the words are spoken in a fairly light tone, Eren revels in them, nearly glowing at the approval.

“Levi,” he moans, somehow trying to nuzzle up into him despite of their position. “Holy fuck, can you please keep talking to me, please?”

There’s a moment of hesitant silence before Levi replies, “I’m not good with words and stuff, though.” He’s moved to combing through Eren’s hair softly, which, in itself, helps Eren feel more grounded, the heady arousal now tinged with affection when he picks up on the tiny waver in Levi’s voice.

“I know. It’s fine,” he sighs, and it really is, everything is fine and even better, in fact, though he’s having some trouble voicing it in his current state – all of him is so raw and bare under Levi’s keen eyes and careful, if lightly calloused hands, and to think that _this is only the beginning_ , this isn’t even half of it, there’s a whole world of fulfillment they haven’t yet ventured into. “I like it.”

That seems to ease some of Levi’s doubts as he places another light kiss against Eren’s shoulder. “That’s all that matters. Your enjoyment is all that matters,” he states, the words a steadying caress against Eren’s skin. It’s all too much, the absurd amount of kindness in every little word and touch. Eren’s eyes flutter closed and the stroking of his hand falters slightly when Levi speaks up again. “God, you’re so pretty right now.”

Realistically speaking, he probably knows that he isn’t – he’s red as a lobster with his features twisted into what must surely be a downright lewd expression, but he can’t be bothered by any of that when Levi’s voice sounds so damn earnest to his ears.

“Fuck, Levi, don’t stop,” Eren gasps. His movements have grown just a bit faster and shakier now, so Levi lays his hand over Eren’s palm to hold him back.

“Don’t worry, darling, I won’t,” he whispers, and it’s like sugar and honey and all things sweet flowing through Eren’s veins because he’s never heard Levi address him with such a nickname before and it sounds so fucking perfect and he wants more. “Slowly, remember?”

It takes an incredible amount of restraint to keep his grip light, but luckily Levi’s there to help him, the brush of coaxing fingers against his serving as a reminder to take it easy.

“Yeah, okay,” Eren pants, caressing over his length with an increasingly softer touch, teasing and denying himself, seeping over the swollen head with his thumb before twisting down along the shaft again, all in deliciously, maddeningly slow motions. “Like this?”

“Just like that, Eren,” Levi drawls, nipping at his exposed neck, the words almost a purr. “What a good boy you are, so compliant, so eager to please.”

This time Eren doesn’t even try to conceal the needy moan that falls from his lips as he squirms around in Levi’s arms – he really is, or at least tries to be good and yearns for nothing more than Levi’s approval, and the kicker is that he has it now. Even though he can’t see Levi’s face from his position, he can hear the unbridled adoration in his normally so authoritative voice, can feel the loving brush of his fingertips by his abdomen that leaves a burning in its wake he never wants to forget.

“Please,” Eren’s calling out, not entirely sure what he’s even asking for but he needs it, like, right this instant. All of his muscles are tensing up, especially the ones in his lower body, and with each stroke, he’s getting closer to the coveted release that’s been throbbing and swirling under his skin for a while now.

Levi trails kisses along his jaw and then down his neck, holding Eren tighter to his chest as he mutters, “I’m right here, Eren, I’ve got you.” His hand skitters down the lines of Eren’s stomach and pauses to rub over the thin trail of hair leading to the base of his cock. “Look at you, so hard and wanting. Does it feel good?” It’s asked in a faintly coy tone, as if Levi hadn’t yet noticed how worked up he is.

“Fuck, yes,” he replies in a breathy groan. That’s all he can come up with, he’s too far gone by now, too lost in endless pleasure.

Levi traces one of his slender fingers teasingly along the underside of Eren’s cock as he questions, “Better than when you’re doing it by yourself?”

There aren’t even any words to compare it, because this? This is heaven, being enveloped in Levi’s arms, safe and sound and encouraged to explore, touch and simply feel, all the while having Levi run his hands over him and speak to him so softly. “So much better,” Eren moans, his voice garbled and frantic. “Fuck, Levi, I’m going to come, please.” His body’s coiling into itself as he rubs over his cock in smaller and more focused motions, pressure building up somewhere deep inside of him.

In an effort to soothe him, Levi returns to carding through his hair, planting a kiss at the nape of his neck. “I can tell, you’re so restless,” he points out, sounding pleased somehow. “Keep going, gently, now. There’s no rush.”

There is, though, there’s a sense of urgency thrumming from beneath his skin, but Eren bites down on his lip and keeps up the leisurely pace Levi’s set for him even though his hands are shaking now, all of him is shaking lightly from the exertion of holding himself back for so long. He tries to form coherent words, to beg and plead for something he cannot even comprehend, yet alone name.

“Levi,” he chokes out in what’s nearly a sob and receives a flurry of kisses along the side of his face.

“I’m here, Eren.” Levi’s holding on to him and rubbing over his stomach, unbelievable safe and warm and solid behind Eren’s back, muttering hoarse encouragements into his ear. “You’re so close, aren’t you? You’re right on the edge. Just look how lovely you are, a trembling, flushed mess.”

A brief glance down at his body causes Eren to grow even more flustered, his cock straining as he touches at it with clumsy, erratic fingers, so close to releasing that it all but throbs under his touch. He can’t watch, it’s too much, being bombarded with so many different sensations at once, but even as his eyes fall closed, he feels like he’s drowning in the sweet reassurances being murmured to him.

“What a good boy you’ve been, doing just as I tell you.” He hears the words, even though all that fills his head is numbing static, pleasure tingling through him. “You can come anytime you want, you’ve deserved it for being so patient and obedient all this time, exactly as you should.”

If Levi says something else, it doesn’t register to Eren because he’s already coming, sharp bliss washing over him and his whole body convulsing. It’s so infinitely better than anything he’s had before and he’s sure that he’s making all kinds of wanton noises as he rides out his orgasm but the loving praises are all that echo in his ears.

“Good boy, there you go.” Levi holds him through it, stroking at his hair and muttering sweet words to him. “I told you it would feel a lot better, didn't I?”

Eren falls limp against the sheets, heavy and buzzing with contentment. His hands lazily search out Levi behind him, clinging on to his arms and shoulders and anything he can get ahold of. “Levi.” It comes out as a low whine and in an instant, Levi’s kissing him, devouring the long, tired moan right out of his mouth. All of his strength is gone so he yields easily when Levi pulls him around so that they’re face to face.

“I probably came on your sheets a little.” is the first thing that Eren blurts out once his head is starting to clear. It’s a dumb thing to be concerned about, but he knows how strict Levi is about cleanliness.

However, Levi only pulls him against his chest tighter, twining his legs with Eren’s. “They’re only sheets,” he intones with a flat look. As Eren squirms closer, he brushes against what’s definitely an erection in Levi’s pants, eyes flitting up to glance at Levi’s face.

“You’re hard,” he points out, a little shy now that most of his own fervor has subsided.

“How could I not be after watching that?” Levi asks with raised brows. He drags an idle finger across Eren’s stomach and through the strands of come sputtered on it.

Eren’s voice takes on a skittish edge as he suggests, “Would you like me to take care of that as well?”

“I’m old, it’ll go away soon enough.” Though Levi’s face is currently hidden in the crook of his neck, Eren hears the decisive undertone in his words. “This is all about you and what you’re okay with. Don’t worry, you don’t owe me anything now.”

Eren’s heart flutters a little – how fucking considerate can one person be? Yes, he’s aware that it’s not a side that Levi shows to just about anyone, but that only makes it all the more special. What it all boils down to is the fact that Levi loves him, truly loves and cares for him to such an extent that he’ll gladly put aside his own pleasure in favor of Eren’s comfort. Such selflessness should be rewarded.

He slots his lips against Levi’s, tentatively running his hands down along his body. “Let me,” Eren mutters when he draws back, pouring every bit of the gratitude swelling in him into the request. “Please.”

Levi gives him a wary look. “You don’t have to, you know,” he intones.

“But I want to.” The first few rays of the morning sun are already casting their light in through the window but there’s still plenty of time, so Eren slips his thigh in between Levi’s and rubs it over his crotch. Encouraged by Levi’s quiet, choked groan, he goes on with a grin, “Besides, I think I need to practice my technique on someone else now.”

\- - -

Being with Levi is not exactly as he would have expected.

For all his years of looking up to the man and admiring him from afar, Eren had assumed – and almost feared – him to be just as cool and collected in his personal life as he was on the field, perhaps even cold at times. As it happens, that assumption had been proven wrong right off the bat by their first night and the next morning together, during which Levi had been nothing but heartwarmingly gentle with him. In the coming days, he's met with even more affection, even if in a less visible manner – extra servings of his favorite soup at lunch, warm glances and featherlight touches when they happen to pass by each other in the hall and sweet, richly flavored chocolates that Levi feeds to him by hand when it's just the two of them. In a word, he's being spoiled, and he absolutely loves it.

But when you get down to it, Eren likes to consider himself a selfless person, so of course the thought of spoiling Levi just the same is often of his mind. He can't afford chocolates or anything else like that, and yeah, he's not that well-versed in relationships, but he does have a ton of enthusiasm. And loads of porn hidden under his mattress, of course, which is where he gets the idea for a nice blowjob.

All of their sexual encounters have been pretty run-of-the-mill stuff, touching and grinding and such, nothing of the penetrative sort. Having a part of someone else inside you goes on to a whole different level, one that he'd rather like to explore now that they're together.

Nowadays it's not at all uncommon for him to spend time in Levi's office, sometimes talking and sometimes doing something else. One particular day finds Eren flopping down to lay on his desk, staring up at Levi with his widest and most persuasive look.

It's been nearly an hour, and while he knows that Levi takes paperwork very seriously, something's gotta give.

“Are you done yet?” he asks for the fifth time now, eyeing at the stack of papers in Levi’s hands. This time Levi doesn’t even give a proper response – he merely grunts under his breath without looking Eren’s way, impervious to his charm.

Throwing away all subtlety, Eren pulls himself up with a huff, shifting around to face Levi with his arms crossed over his chest. “Pay attention to me,” he demands.

This time Levi does glance at him, the look in his eyes more fond than annoyed, a sure sign that Eren’s presence is a welcomed interruption. “I’m always paying attention to you,” he assures with a light peck on the nose.

“Yeah, but do it more,” Eren mumbles as he leans in to nudge at his cheek. Maybe he’s being too demanding but whenever he’s alone with Levi he craves the feeling of those hands and smoky eyes on him.

Instead of teasing and denying him as he so often does, Levi leans in to capture his lips in a kiss. They’ve shared dozens of kisses by now, some soft and some more heated, yet Eren still nearly purrs in excitement at each new one. The movement of Levi’s mouth against his and the determined glide of his tongue along Eren’s teeth is something he’s sure he’ll never grow bored of – there’s an unexplainable degree of intimacy involved in letting someone enter your mouth like that, and, in some ways Eren supposes it’s not all that different from having a cock in your mouth.

Okay, in most ways it’s a lot different, but it’s the closest thing Eren can think of. The only other comparison he has is the time when he’d been dared to eat a whole pickle in one bite and that hadn’t been nearly as pleasant as being kissed.

Levi nips at his lower lip and effectively brings his scrambling thoughts to a halt. Eren’s been thinking of how to say it, thinking up numerous scenarios, most of them starting with him sliding on to Levi’s lap and then down onto the floor between his legs smoothly and seductively, perhaps muttering something witty as he rubs over his crotch.

That’s the ideal, but in the end, what comes out of Eren’s mouth is neither smooth nor seductive.

“Can I give you a blow job?” he asks all in one hasty breath, cheeks reddening when Levi fixes him a flat look.

“What?” Levi replies, something like amusement twitching at the corners of his mouth, but his stare remains wholly unimpressed.

Eren shifts around a little under his intense scrutiny. Yes, they’d established previously that neither one of them had that much experience under their belt, but he hadn’t thought they’d have to start off with basic definitions. “Well, a blow job is when you take, uh, you take a thingy and put it in your mouth and then you…”

“I know what a blow job is, Eren,” Levi interrupts him, that amusement now blooming into a rare smile. “Also, thingy? Wow, you sure know how to set the mood.” The gentle mocking doesn’t bother him in the slightest because Levi’s smiling and his hands are carefully laid over Eren’s thighs, rubbing small circles against the fabric of his pants and Levi’s smiling, actually smiling, and it’s all because of Eren.

“I was trying to be tactful,” he argues with a shrug, less interested in terminology and more in Levi’s thingy, cock, dick, whatever you want to call it, going into his mouth. “So, can I?”

“Yeah, sure, anything for you,” Levi assures him absently, “what’s with the sudden interest, though?”

It’s difficult to stay still when Levi’s staring him down and waiting for an explanation, so Eren responds by making a vague sound and shuffling around some more. How is he supposed to put into words the inexplicable urgency to be of use to Levi, to cherish him in every possible way without any ulterior motive other than earning his full admiration?

“It could be kind of fun,” he replies eventually, restless hands twiddling in his lap, only inches away from Levi’s. For lack of a better response, he settles for a piece of advice he’d read late one night with his hand down his pants. “A dick a day keeps the doctor away.”

Levi honest-to-God snorts, a high, undignified sound, clapping a hand over his mouth as soon as he catches himself. “Where did you get that from?” he inquires with a raised brow.

“Latest issue of Dongs of the Counterattack,” Eren states, swinging his legs back and forth. Technically Levi’s already answered his request, but just to make sure, he asks again. “So, can I? Right now?”

Leaning back in his chair, Levi gives him a curious look. “They still publish that?” he ponders out loud, but soon moves on to gesture at Eren. “Yeah, now’s fine, I’m almost finished with this stuff anyway. Bed?”

“No, here’s okay.” Due to his clumsy opening, this is the part where he sinks down between Levi’s feet, his knees meeting the cold stone floor. To be fair, he more clambers than sinks, but it ends with the same result – him on the floor, looking up into Levi’s astounded face.

“You sure about that? It doesn’t look too comfortable,” Levi points out. Much to Eren’s delight, slim fingers begin carding through his shaggy hair, scratching over the nape of his neck in that familiar way that never fails to make him shiver.

“No, I like this.” He plays idly with the straps of Levi’s harness, his tone growing bashful as he admits, “I’ve thought about something like this, you know, like you sitting in a meeting or something and me under the table.”

It takes a moment for the image to sink in for Levi if his blank expression if anything to go by, but soon there’s a light tinge of red spreading over his cheeks. “You’ve been reading too much porn,” he chokes out, shifting in place when Eren’s fingers dance their way closer to his crotch. “Try that in real life and we’ll both get fired in a heartbeat.”

“A guy can dream, right?” Though he’s currently as low as one can go, kneeling on the bare floor, Eren feels oddly powerful as he moves to undo Levi’s fly. Here they are, his lover trusting him with the most sensitive part of his anatomy while being fully aware that the closest thing to a cock that Eren’s had in his mouth is a pickle.

In fact, now that he thinks about it, Eren’s not sure if he’s yet shared that particular anecdote. “One time Sasha dared me to eat a pickle in one bite, and that’s the closest I’ve come to giving a blow job,” he informs just in case. “So sorry if I suck. I mean, uh, if I don’t suck properly.”

“Don’t worry about something like that,” Levi tells him with a roll of his eyes. “Did you manage to do it, by the way?”

“Kind of.” Perhaps it’s best not to mention how he’d chewed the poor pickle into pieces in less than ten seconds with his unusually sharp teeth and strong jaws. Instead he focuses on pulling Levi’s pants a bit lower along his hips, ghosting over the faint bulge in his underwear. “You’re really letting me.” It’s a statement, not a question, but he still searches Levi’s face for an answer, for permission to go on.

The gaze he receives back is filled with radiant fondness. Levi’s hand cups at his cheek, his thumb coming to brush over Eren’s mouth that has fallen slightly open at the contact. “Damn it, of course I am,” he says, his voice gentle, if a little rough. “It’s kind of odd with you being down there. I can’t touch you.” To Eren’s ears, the complaint holds the tiniest trace of neediness, and apparently Levi picks up on it too since the flush on his face deepens. Seeing him in such a state is rare so Eren makes sure to study his features carefully and engrave each little detail into his memory.

“You can touch my hair,” he suggests with a grin and a nudge of his head. There aren’t many things he loves more than Levi’s hands in his hair, so if you ask him, this specific position is just lovely.

For once in his life, Levi goes along and returns to petting through Eren’s hair. “It's not the same, though,” he complains, but doesn't seem to mind Eren undoing his fly and tugging his pants and underwear lower along his hips to reveal his erection.

Eren’s seen Levi naked before, of course, but it’s a completely different matter from this angle. As he wraps his fingers around the base, he cannot help but to appreciate the strong contours of his cock. It’s standing proudly in attention under Eren’s touch, the veins along the shaft lightly raised under flushed skin. He caresses over the prominent head and hears Levi draw in a sharp breath. An experimental lick over the tip causes him to jerk a little, Eren’s scalp tingling as he grips on to his hair tighter.

“Fuck, sorry,” he’s quick to call out as he goes back to carding through Eren’s hair with more careful, if also a little tense motions.

“No worries.” Eren places a chaste little kiss at the head, glancing up into Levi’s face. His cheeks are tinted with a lingering shade of pink and he’s biting down on his lip like he’s already fighting to keep his cool. “I can handle a little rough play.”

“Yeah, but it’s not…” Whatever Levi’s about to say crumbles into a sharp moan when Eren runs his tongue along the side of his cock.

“It’s not what?” he croons with amusement, a satisfied sense of something like control surging through him. He’s barely even put his mouth on Levi yet he already has him achingly hard, and as his tongue flicks out again, he feels Levi’s cock give a twitch against his cheek. “I didn’t quite catch that.”

Levi huffs out a breath, his jaw clenched. “You can’t expect me to hold a proper conversation if you keep doing that.”

“So it’s not bad, then?” Despite of all evidence, he’s still hesitant, his other hands fiddling with the fabric of Levi’s pants as he shifts around on his knees.

“For fuck’s sake, Eren.” It comes out in what’s nearly a whine, exasperated and restless. “You know exactly what you do to me, you damn tease.”

Pleasant flickers of heat burrow into the pit of Eren’s stomach, his lips shyly curving into a smile. Yes, he has some idea, but he’ll always gladly hear Levi remind him. Besides, it's not like he has much experience with these things, so he could be doing it wrong for all he knows.

There's a limit to Eren's patience, though, so after mouthing over the shaft a few more times, he wraps his lips firmly around the tip of Levi's cock, focusing on taking long breaths through his nose. Keeping his jaw as slack as he can, he slides down along his length at what must be an agonizingly slow rate since the fingers in his hair tighten their grip as if to encourage him.

Eren's only faintly aware of the pull at his hair, since for the time being, he's too engrossed in the feeling of Levi all around him, his legs encircling him in their embrace and keeping him safe. The sensation of something stretching his mouth open so unnaturally wide isn't that pleasant, so he reminds himself again to relax his throat and jaw, eyes falling closed as he focuses all his attention on the cock that's already nearly halfway into mouth.

Unlike the pickle that had met its gruesome end in Eren's mouth, this visitor doesn't taste particularly salty. Perhaps Eren really has been reading too much porn since a part of him had imagined the taste of something like pure manly testosterone exploding across his tongue, though it might be that the exploding part will come in later. For now, the only thing registering to him is the stretch and the fullness – which is actually kind of arousing, now that he's growing more used to it.

He can more feel than hear Levi's sharp inhale as he tentatively moves his tongue against the underside of his shaft. A subtle glance upwards and he's shifting in closer, clinging on to Levi's leg, because even though he's not yet sunken down all the way to the base, Levi already looks so undone. His eyes are clouded over and watching Eren with almost feral intensity, but as they lock eyes, he turns his head away and blows out a long, labored breath.

Due to his mouth being otherwise occupied, Eren can only make a garbled sound of disapproval and pull at the harness straps around Levi's thighs. _Pay attention to **me** ,_ he'd like to demand again, but words aren't really possible for him right now.

Regardless, Levi seems to get the message. He's covering his face with his hand, supposedly in an effort to hide the very obvious flush, arguing in a choked voice, “This is going to be over all too soon if I keep looking at you when you're doing that.”

The words make something at the back of Eren's mind purr in dizzying elation. He all but rubs himself against Levi's leg as he takes more of him into his mouth. Once he's gotten all of Levi's cock inside, his lips coming to brush over the thin dark hairs near the base, a sense of accomplishment washes over him. He's got this, and with Levi's other hand still tangled in his hair, he reckons that he’s not all that shoddy for a beginner.

Once he’s gotten used to the thick length in his mouth to such an extent that he no longer worries about choking on it, Eren runs an exploring tongue along its side. It’s unexpectedly nice to map out each of its curve and ridge in such a way, the flesh warm and wet with precome and his saliva. There’s some running down along his chin, as well, but he doesn’t even care. He draws back a little in order to flick his tongue over the head and hears Levi groan as the cock in his mouth gives a small twitch.

”Fuck, Eren,” Levi calls out faintly, and there’s so much heated longing in those two words that Eren can’t help but to make a tiny, desperate sound at the back of his throat that sounds almost like a sob to his own ears. He’d read all about how good getting a blow job supposedly feels, but no-one had told him about the immense pleasure found in giving one.

There’s an intoxicating thrill of control rushing through his veins, one that’s making Eren's head spin and his cock strain against the fabric of his underwear. As he reaches down to frantically pull it free from its constraints, his concentration wavers a little, causing Levi’s cock to slip out from his mouth with a wet sound. It’s flushed and rigid right in front of Eren’s face, glistening with precome and his saliva and making for such a lovely picture that he can’t resist leaning in to trail light kisses along its length. He starts from the very tip and skims his lips all the way down until he’s practically nuzzling at Levi’s hipbones.

Demanding green eyes flicker upwards, and this time Eren’s not about to give up so easily. ”Look at me, please?” he drawls in what’s more of a command than a request, near impossible to ignore.

Just as planned, Levi drops his hand down, head tilted back but eyes remaining closed. He’s holding on to Eren’s hair with trembling fingers, carding through it over and over again with jittery movements. ”Eren, please,” he mutters, the rest of his words just garbled syllables as Eren chooses that particular moment to sneak his fingers down to caress at his balls.

”Look at me, Levi,” he repeats, a little softer this time. ”I want you to watch me.” When Levi at last blinks his eyes open and glances down, his pupils are blown wide and the normally so sharp and composed gray of his irises is clouded with hazy desire.

”Fuck, Eren, don’t stop,” he pleads hoarsely as his hips stutter forward under Eren’s mouth. In an effort to soothe him, Eren kisses along the exposed skin of his lower abdomen, mouth pausing to hover just over his navel. This is all his now, all of this beauty and strength, his to touch and love and care for.

He has Levi exactly where he wants him, writhing under his touch and begging for more, which, in itself, is enough to spike up Eren’s own arousal. Once you add in the fresh memory of the delicious fullness - because that’s what it’s become, a thick, decadent treat, all for him and only him to savor - that filled his mouth just right, it’s a surprise Eren hasn’t yet exploded prematurely again.

”Do you like it, then?” Eren inquires, already knowing the answer but needing to hear it spoken out loud, preferably several times and in great detail. ”Tell me.”

Even in his current state, Levi seems to see right through him as the corners of his mouth curve upwards into a smirk that’s only faintly smug and mostly just full of promising approval. ”Yes, holy fucking, fuck, it’s so good,” he groans, reaching lower to stroke at the nape of Eren’s neck. ”Keep going, darling, please.”

Those are precisely the words he’s been waiting for, and in order to draw more similar exclamations from Levi, he mouths along his shaft lazily, eyes still locked with his. ”Go on,” Eren insists with a soft flick of his tongue. He’s holding on to Levi’s thigh to keep his balance, but his other hand is sneaking down to play with his neglected erection. He’s in charge here, or at least he feels like it, but he can’t deny the burning need in the pit of his stomach, all of him buzzing in anticipation for more.

Levi doesn’t miss a beat, immediately brushing through his hair and calling out in a gentle, breathless tone, ”You’re making me feel so amazing, Eren, fuck, that’s perfect.” Dizzying heat floods over Eren and he doesn’t even bother trying to hold back the small moan that escapes him.

”More,” he calls out, and to show his gratitude, closes his lips around the head of Levi’s cock again. This time it sinks into his mouth easily, but he takes his time, swirling his tongue over the head in slow, teasing circles. The guttural moan that falls from Levi only fuels Eren’s own feverish arousal. He hums in a vaguely demanding manner, reminding Levi to keep the praises coming, even though his grip on Erens’ hair has grown much more frantic now.

”Just like that, Eren, you’re taking me in so well, just look at you,” he breathes out as he brushes over Eren’s cheek gently, thumbing over his wet lips. ”So perfect, Eren, so honest and earnest and wonderful.”

It all makes Eren want to cry and he has to close his eyes to stop the tears from rising up. Levi’s cock feels so nice and wide in his mouth, and from the way it’s straining against his tongue, Eren can tell that he’s close. His own release isn’t that far away either, especially now that Levi’s whispering sweet praises to him in such a wrecked voice and his hand is working over his cock in faster motions.

Levi gasps his name out in a rushed litany and it’s the sweetest soujnd to have ever graced Eren’s ears. ”That's it, Eren, my darling, gorgeous Eren. You like being a good boy and making me feel good, don't you? You're so considerate” he moans, and even though his range of motion is limited, Eren desperately tries to give a nod. He’s itching to agree somehow and to convey that being as good as he can for Levi is all that matters, but the only thing he can do is make choked little noises at the back of his throat as he swirls his tongue over Levi’s cock.

”Such a perfect little treasure, you are. Such a delight.” A tender brush over the side of his jaw causes Eren to shiver. ”Always so kind and caring, you know how to treat me just right.”

By now Eren's quickly turning into a complete mess, his thighs shaking with the stress of kneeling down for so long and the rest of him shaking for wholly different reasons. His mouth and chin must be dripping with saliva, but that's just a minor source of discomfort – the deep, aching arousal churning inside of him drowns out everything else.

He sucks on Levi's cock even harder, but soon feels a tug at his hair. ”Fuck, it's too good, Eren, I'm going to come.” It feels as it he's trying to pull away, so Eren garbles in protest as he latches on to Levi's leg tighter.

He glances up, pleading with his eyes for what he can't ask with his mouth, and as usual, Levi seems to understand what he needs from just one look.

”Damn it, you have to stop being so precious, you're going to kill me one of these days,” he wheezes, but doesn't argue when Eren sinks down to the base again, taking all of him in his mouth. Though his voice sounds like it's about to crack at any minute, Eren wants to hear that lust-filled voice muttering more gentle words to him, so he lightly scrapes his teeth over Levi's cock, just to get his attention.

”Fuck, Eren,” he groans at that, jerking forward. He sounds so far gone, gripping on to Eren's hair with no intention of letting go. “You're incredible, you know that? My charming, clever Eren, always so good for me.”

Eren can feel the soundless moan that wrecks through Levi's body, his cock shuddering against the roof of his mouth as he comes. Of course, Eren rushes to swallow it all like the good boy he is, continuing to work his mouth over Levi's cock and coax out every last drop. It has a faintly creamy and not at all unpleasant aroma that passes over his tongue before he gulps it down. Levi's gone slack in his chair, too high on pleasure to do anything but mewl and wriggle in Eren's thorough care.

After he's made sure to lap up all of the sticky goodness, he lets Levi's softening cock slide out of his mouth, wiping off the strands of saliva that cling on to his lips. His arms are wrapped around Levi's waist a little awkwardly, but as he rests his head on his thigh, it feels nothing short of perfect, being this close and drinking in the thrum of Levi's afterglow with his own erection forgotten for a few moments.

Gradually, Levi's breathing evens out above him, and when he speaks up, there's only a fleeting edge of huskiness in his voice. “Pretty sure you broke me for good this time.” Soft fingers come to cup at his jaw and tilt his head upwards, and soon there are gentle lips pressing lightly against Eren's as Levi leans down to kiss him. “Damn it, Eren, you're far too wonderful.”

There's still heavy arousal clouding his head and the words just add to it as his cock gives a small tremble as if to remind him that they're not yet finished here. “What a good boy,” Levi goes on, and this time Eren moans out loud, his grip around Levi tightening. “Did you get so turned on just from sucking me off?” His boot nudges at Eren's cock, and while it's only the lightest of touches, it still makes Eren let out a hiss.

“Maybe,” he mutters against Levi's mouth that's soon twisting into a self-assured smile.

“Then maybe we should do something about it,” Levi suggests with a raise of his brows, and Erem can't agree fast enough. He's so close, though, literally teetering right on the edge, all he needs is a few more kind words and some pressure down below to get himself off.

“Can I just do it against your leg?” he asks breathlessly, all traces of shyness gone as he shifts to press himself closer without waiting for an answer.

“Of course, Eren, you can do anything you want,” Levi answers almost instantly, hips brushing across his jaw as he mutters in a low voice, “Anything for you, my love, you know I could never deny a single thing from you.” His hands tangle into Eren's hair again, though much more gentle this time.

Maneuvering himself to a better position with his crotch rubbing up against Levi's leg just right, Eren lays his head on his thigh, his glance flickering upwards in a voiceless plea to keep going.

“I have to say, you do look pretty down there,” Levi remarks idly. “Even though this is all I can touch of you.” He brushes a few wild strands back behind Eren's ear. “One of these days I'm going to lay you down and map out every single inch of your body.”

Though it's spoken in a casual tone, the promise causes restless flutters to stir up from under Eren's skin. He rocks his hips forward, arching further into the hot friction with a moan. “Levi, please,” he calls out, nails digging into the bared skin of his hips, and Levi shushes him and continues combing through his hair slowly.

“What do you need, dear?” he asks, his smile verging on teasing as he strokes down along Eren's neck. Of course he's going to make Eren say it out loud, even though they both know exactly what he wants.

“Keep talking,” Eren breathes out with another roll of his hips. “Please.”

Levi's touch over his heated skin leaves a tingling in its wake, and his voice is laced with approval when he speaks out. “That's it, you're a very good boy, Eren.” There aren't any words to express how much hearing that means to him, so Eren resorts to clutching onto Levi's thigh harder and pressing himself impossibly closer to the solid muscles of his leg. “I'm so proud of you, my lovely.” The honest, reverent tone causes a sob to rise up in his throat.

“Levi, fuck,” he gasps, not even surprised at how desperate he sounds, all of him tense and trembling. Each hasty thrust is sending waves of pleasure through him as his cock rubs up against the coarse fabric of Levi's pants. The orgasm is building up inside of him as he clings on to Levi tighter and when his eyes fall closed he sees thousands of sparks simmering across the insides of his lids.

Levi's low voice reaches him as if through a fog, continuing to speak to him in such loving tones. ”It's okay, I've got you,” he assures as he leans down to brush a kiss into Eren's hair. “Go on, darling, you've been so very good that you deserve a little reward.”

Despite of the reassurance, Eren's struck with the urge to disagree – it's not enough, he could be even better, no, he will be even better because someone as kind and caring as Levi should be offered only the best – but all he manages to produce is a hoarse whine. He's too close, can feel it pulling at the base of his cock and begging to be let out, all he needs is the tiniest nudge and he'll be falling to pieces.

What finally does it is Levi pausing to scratch his fingers just behind Eren's ear as he combs through his hair, whispering against his forehead, “My perfect, beautiful Eren, getting himself off so nicely. What an absolute darling you are.”

For a few blinding eternities, the only thing that registers to Eren is sheer pulsing pleasure that takes over him. He's faintly aware of his cock spasming against Levi's leg and probably smearing his pristine white pants in come as he grinds through his orgasm, harsh moans falling from his lips.

After a few more moments of floating along in his haze, he's drawn back to reality by Levi combing through his hair and leisurely skimming his fingers all the way down his neck. Eren squirms a little at the ticklish touch yet cranes his head in to receive more of the sugary affection Levi's already so keenly bestowed upon him.

He does receive a light caress along the side of his jaw that's soon accompanied by a flurry of kisses. “My lovely Eren,” Levi repeats with deep warmth in his gaze, his face only inches from Eren's. “Aren't your knees hurting? Get up here already.”

“It's not that bad,” Eren tries to protest, but is quickly shushed with a kiss. Not that he really minds.

“Of course you'd say that, you're still in the prime of your life. I'm an old man and my back's killing me from bending down like this, so the point still stands.” He tugs at Eren's shirt feebly in an attempt to pull him up. “Get over here.”

It takes a bit of awkward shuffling, but eventually he's tucked away in Levi's lap, arms wrapped tightly around his neck. Now that he's moved off from his kneeling position, Eren has to admit that his knees do give a little twinge of discomfort every time he moves around, which is not at all helped by their current arrangement. Somehow they're both crammed in Levi's chair on top of each other, and it shows that this particular piece of furniture has been designed to only hold one person at a time.

Eren can deal with it, though. Levi's hands settle on to his hips, and after a while he begins tracing calming shapes along Eren's lower back. Before he knows it, Eren's relaxed and limp in his embrace. It's nice, if a little unexpected

“You like to cuddle,” Eren points out in a lazy voice, taking full enjoyment in this discovery.

The only response he gets from Levi is an ambiguous humming noise and an even more ambiguous statement. “Your skin feels really comfortable against mine.”

From their current position, Eren's fairly sure Levi can't see the blush rising to his face, but he hides his face into the crook of his neck just to be sure.

The chair does get too small for the two of them after a while, and this time when Levi suggests that they move to the bed for the evening – though for different, more cuddly reasons now than before – Eren accepts the offer in a heartbeat.


	3. Chapter 3

“Maybe we should set a date or something,” Eren says.

The muscles at Levi's bare upper back that he's been staring at like the thirsty wreck he is flex and move as Levi turns to give him a questioning glance. “What?”

“You know.” At this point Eren notices that Levi's nearly done changing into his uniform while he himself is still standing there uselessly. As he rushes to pull on his shirt, he exclaims, “For the deed.”

Levi's expression remains blank, so he goes on to clarify. “Hiding the sausage, plowing the back fields, ass spelunking, whatever you wanna call it.”

At last a look of recognition passes over Levi's face, accompanied with almost hysterical amusement. “Hiding the sausage. That's so romantic,” he remarks with a raised brow.

“I can keep up the euphemisms all day.” He shifts his weight from one leg to the other restlessly. “So, how about it?”

Unfortunately for Eren's prying eyes, Levi's covered up those shapely muscles of his now, and as he finishes buttoning up his shirt, he replies, “Yeah, that could be fun.” Even when fully clothed, he makes those words sound positively sinful. “When are you available?”

“Any time for you.” Eren tries very hard to keep a seductive tone, but he's also getting more and more tangled with the straps of his gear, still staring at the faint outlines of Levi's muscles visible through his shirt. It culminates into him nearly falling over in his haste to straighten himself out.

In just a few strides, Levi's right in front of him, holding onto him and tugging the straps to their proper place. “You're a mess,” he states as he reaches up to plant a kiss at his jaw. “How about next week? I know you have a few days off then.”

“Yeah, okay.” Eren's a little frazzled from suddenly feeling Levi's lips brush over his skin, but soon adds, “I can't believe we're scheduling our sex. That's so boring.”

“That's the real world. You seriously have to stop reading all that porn.” He steps away again, but not before patting at Eren's cheek. “Hope you have a flexible sphincter and a diet that's high in fibers.” It's delivered in such a deadpan tone that at first Eren thinks he may have misheard.

“Oh God, no, this is awkward,” he groans, quickly shrugging on his shirt.

“No, it's not, it's just your ass,” Levi claims, sounding as casual as one can be. “In all seriousness, though, after having been covered in titan blood and guts, a tiny bit of mud on my tool isn't really gonna faze me.”

“Can you please not,” Eren starts off, but doesn't bother going on when he sees the poorly hidden laughter dancing over Levi's face. Instead he just makes an exasperated noise and finishes getting dressed as fast as he can, soon trotting behind Levi to head for training.

They've been doing an awful lot of training lately, and to Eren's immense joy, he no longer fumbles with his gear or screws up whenever Levi as much as looks his way. Things are more or less back to normal, if you can call it that, with the exception that he and Levi are a couple. Sometimes that thought will fill his head during routine everyday tasks and he'll find himself grinning uncontrollably. It does attract a few curious glances sometimes, like when he'd been on latrine duty once more and, according to Connie, had gotten the dumbest look on his face all the sudden.

From the very beginning, they'd agreed that while their relationship wasn't anyone else's business, and so far they'd succeeded in keeping it mostly a secret. If anyone had noticed the closeness between the two of them, they hadn't at least commented on it. Granted, it was public knowledge that Eren admired their Captain greatly, but no-one seemed to be aware that the extent of that admiration went even further than usual.

To the rest of the world, they were still captain and subordinate, and as such, had to behave accordingly. Nevertheless, Eren could feel a certain intimacy in their interactions that hadn't been there before – Levi would place a steadying touch by his back when instructing him, and instead of letting him scramble up from the ground on his own when he happened to fall, he'd reach out a hand to pull him back onto his feet. The most thrilling part about it was that it was all entirely natural, as if this was how things had always been between them. It was a sort of casual affection that creeped into their lives, remaining unnoticed and unnamed yet always lingering in the background like a soft, persistent hum.

While gentle touches and gestures come naturally to them, words are a different matter entirely.

Levi's not good with words, a fact which he's admitted to Eren many times. In Eren's honest opinion, as long as he tries that's more than enough. During the short few weeks that they've been together romantically, there have been many poorly-worded and clumsily delivered confessions, but each one of them has still made Eren's heart soar, no matter the lack of finesse.

Besides, it's not like Levi's completely hopeless – for someone with no previous experience with a relationship, he's not doing bad at all if you ask Eren. Especially in the throes of passion he seems to loosen up considerably, and more often than not leaves Eren flushed and panting with all the praises he mutters into the curve of his neck.

Out of all the possible topics, Eren would've thought that sex would be among the most awkward ones to discuss about. However, once they've gotten past the point of bad euphemisms and jokes about various bodily fluids, it becomes remarkably easy.

From the very beginning, Eren's made his interest in taking it up the ass very clear. Since porn is his only reference on the matter, lengthy conversations about using lube and the importance of preparation are had. Levi assures him that it shouldn't hurt as long as they keep those two things in mind, but Eren has his doubts. He's poked around a bit back there and can safely say that his asshole is just that, a plain old asshole. There is a certain limit on what you can put up there, and while he can just barely ease in two fingers on a good day, a whole cock is just skirting on that limit, or so he thinks. Then again, it depends on the cock.

These are the thoughts that fill his head during one particular afternoon when he and Levi are cleaning out the mostly rat-free food storage. As much as he tries to focus, Eren's eyes keep on drifting towards Levi's crotch, trying to glare right through the fabric of his pants as discreetly as he can. He can't remember how big Levi is off the top of his head, but he has a faint memory that he's at least a bit thicker when compared to Eren. Damn, this is one of those things that Eren should already know by heart – he's had the thing in his mouth on quite a few occasions, so it can't be that monstrous, right?

Unfortunately Levi's turning his back to him to sort out the pile of half-empty boxes in the corner before Eren's managed to figure him out. Back to work it is.

The phallic images don't leave him, though, as Eren's gaze soon falls on a lone cucumber on the shelf. One end of it is starting to rot, so he grabs it to toss it away, but not before bringing it up to eye level and examining it thoroughly.

“How big is it?” Eren asks, getting right to the point. “Your cock, I mean.”

If he'd asked the same question a few weeks ago, he would've expected Levi to glance over at him incredulously. Now he just remains where he is, back still turned to Eren and examining the dusty carrots he'd just found. “You've seen it, haven't you? Do you need me to whip it out right now to remind you?”

“No, no, it's fine,” Eren rushes to claim, because he's pretty sure that they'd get absolutely no work done then. “Just, look over here, okay. About this big?” He waves the cucumber around to command Levi's attention.

Levi turns to stare at the aforementioned vegetable in his hand and raises a brow. “I know you've only seen a few dicks at best, but come on, Eren, that is a gross overestimation.” He squints at the large patch of mould that's making the whole thing droop. “Also throw that away right now, I'm pretty sure it's even older than me.”

“Okay, okay.” He's right, both about Eren's dick count and the fact that the cucumber has become too disgusting to eat. Regardless, Eren picks up one of the sausages hanging on the wall that's luckily free of mold. “How about this one? Don't look at the length, I'm only asking about the width.”

For a moment Levi's silent, head cocked to the side as he runs his eyes over the sausage. “That's a bit closer, yeah,” he replies. “However, please don't shove that up your ass, we're going to have it for dinner tomorrow.”

“No, I'm just wondering.” His gaze drifts back towards the sausage even after he's set it in its proper place and returned to sorting through the shelves. Alas, the mystery of asses doesn't leave his head, which leads him to ask, “What do I shove up my ass, then?”

“Your fingers,” Levi replies like it's the most obvious thing in the world. He too seems now more focused on their task than indulging Eren's curiosity. “Seriously, don't put anything else up your ass unless it's my dick.”

He takes that piece of advice and cherishes it, abandoning ideas involving cucumbers or sausages or anything edible. There is a rumour – that he heard from Armin, coincidentally – that the very wealthiest have custom pleasure apparatuses made for them in varying sizes and shapes, but with his meager salary, that's not even an option, so fingers it is.

To be honest, he doesn't get many days worth of practice since their agreed date arrives in the blink of an eye. The rain starts right at the crack of dawn with distant rumbling rising up from behind the horizon and Eren tries very hard to not interpret it as a bad omen.

Despite of the harsh wind and rain, they head out into the woods to train as always. Granted, it's not so much actual training as it is slipping on wet ground and getting soaked to the skin. Even in the middle of the forest where they're shrouded by dense branches, it's impossible to hide from the downpour and the damp chill it brings.

With spirits low, they call it a day after only an hour or so, just as the first cracks of thunder are heard from above. While the rest of their squad scatters off in a haste to get indoors, Eren's not in such a hurry. Every inch of him is already wet so he doesn't mind staying behind to help Levi clear up their equipment, and though he's numb with cold he can still appreciate how Levi's wet shirt clings to his abs.

On their way back they hold on to one another since the path is covered in mud, or at least that's the reason Levi gives him when he grasps onto Eren's arm. In all honesty, as long as Levi's holding on to him he's perfectly content.

The instant they make it through the door, Levi's prodding at Eren to take off his boots before he tracks mud all over the hall. They set their shoes to dry over the hearth in the kitchen and head upstairs. Eren's feet feel like lead as he shuffles along at Levi's side, so the first thing he does after getting through the door is sink down on the chair in front of his desk, blowing out a long, tired sigh.

Levi takes one look at his dirty clothes and the pieces of moss caught in his hair and states, “You should go shower.”

“Should I?” He cranes his head back, allowing the tense muscles of his neck to relax. The fact that he's soaked through doesn't seem to matter so much now that he's at last indoors and alone with Levi. “Are you going to join me?”

“I’m not the one who spent most of the training session slipping and falling around and getting mud and grass all over me,” comes the response, along with a pat on his shoulder as Levi passes by and makes his way into the bedroom. “I’ll be fine with just a change of clothes. You, on the other hand, look like you’ve been living in the forest all your life.”

He's right, of course, so Eren rises from the chair, slouching behind Levi. “Fine,” he intones, resisting the urge to shake it off like an actual dog. Head tilted to the side, he fixes Levi with an expectant look and demands, “Can I get a kiss first?”

It's just a whim, but it goes better than expected – Levi gives a huff and a roll of his eyes, but steps in to plant a kiss on Eren's lips. “Go shower,” he tells him, brushing aside the wet strands of hair from Eren's face. “But don't be too long.” There's a lingering promise in his voice, and all of the sudden, Eren can barely feel the damp chill clinging to him.

“Miss you already,” he quips in response, and after pressing one more kiss into Levi's forehead, he shuffles off to get cleaned up.

He's been in Levi's washroom before, but he'll still always be amazed at the polished brass taps gushing out water that's both hot and crystal clear – with the showers downstairs, it's usually one or the other. Instead of the well-used, coarse bars of pine soap that Eren's always washed himself with, Levi has colorful bottles upon bottles sitting on the shelf above the tub. Those are one of the very few luxury items Levi tends to splurge on, though Eren's willing to bet that ever since they've gotten together he's kept the confectioners and specialty merchants of Sina busier than usual with the various little gifts he'll get Eren every now and then.

On some evenings they've laid in the tub for hours, tangled up in one another and surrounded by fragrant bubbles, and while Eren's tired muscles wouldn't mind that right now, he instead focuses on cleaning the dirt and sweat off of his body under the running water.

His shins are dotted with bruises from the numerous falls, but he knows they'll disappear in a matter of hours. The diligent scrubbing and hot water leave rosy redness blooming over his skin as the cold gradually melts off his bones and peacefulness sets in, the knots in his shoulders unfurling.

Though Eren tries to wash up as quickly as he can, he doesn't skimp on making sure he's clean both inside and out. It's much more comfortable doing it here in the privacy of Levi's washroom than in the communal showers, surrounded by things that belong to Levi and carefully stretching himself out with a finger or two. He gets a little too excited, in fact, and by the time he catches himself moaning under his breath he knows he has to stop or he'll be tempted to finish off right there and then.

After standing under the cooling spray for a few more minutes, he steps out at last, wrapping himself up in a fluffy white towel. That's another thing they have differently back in their quarters – the towels they use are just fine for drying off efficiently, but this one feels like a baby lamb gently rubbing itself all over him. A disturbing mental image, especially when he's still at half mast, but that's what the soft drag of the fabric over his skin reminds him of as he wraps it around his waist.

By the time Eren emerges from the washroom, there's a cozy fire crackling in the fireplace, the sight of the orange flames drawing him in and leading him to sink down on the floor in front of them. He stretches out his hands towards the fire, relishing in the warmth that inches from the tips of his fingers and up his bare arms.

For a few moments he's lost in the hot, bright flickers and the shadows that dance across the floor. What jostles him out of his daze is a towel being dumped on his head.

“Dry your hair, too. You look like a wet puppy,” Levi remarks from where he's appeared behind Eren. He's changed into a dry pair of pants and discarded his shirt, Eren notes as he glances over the solid pectorals appreciatively. “I made some tea, do you want some?”

“Yeah, sure,” Eren agrees. His eyes stay glued onto Levi's naked back as he watches him moving around the room. He's aware of Levi talking about something at the same time but none of it reaches Eren – he's openly staring by now, mesmerized by the firm muscles of Levi's shoulders as he imagines pressing kisses at the skin there.

“Eren?” The sound of Levi's amused voice makes him jump. “Are you listening?”

“Uh, no. Sorry,” Eren admits sheepishly, eyes flickering to the small glass bottle in Levi's hand. He recognizes it as the very same bottle of whiskey they'd drank from on the night Eren had turned eighteen, the memories instantly flooding back to him. “What did you say?”

“Do you want some in your tea?” Levi repeats with a raised brow.

“Yeah, go ahead,” Eren agrees, and when Levi turns around again, he has to force himself to tear his eyes away from his back. The towel starts slipping off from where it's teetering on the top of his head, falling down to the floor with a quiet rustle as he turns back to gaze into the flames. Their low crackling blends in smoothly with the sounds of cups clinking together and liquid being poured in.

Soon enough Levi comes to sit next to him, handing him a mug full of steaming tea. Chamomile along with a smoky taste of alcohol, Eren notes as he sips at it, careful not to burn his mouth.

Picking up the towel from where it had fallen, Levi gives him a flat look. “Didn't I tell you to dry your hair?” he asks, but instead of leaving Eren to do it on his own, Levi begins drying his hair himself, rubbing the towel over his head lightly. With a low sigh, Eren leans in closer, all of him tingling with pleasant warmth, both from the fire and from Levi's touch. “You're going to catch a cold like that.”

“It's fine,” he says absently, raising the mug of hot tea to his lips again. It's better than fine, really, sitting there and soaking up all the kind affection, and Eren swears he loses track of time as he sits there in front of the fire, feeling the towel brush over his scalp again and again.

Levi appears to have deemed his hair sufficiently dry as he tosses the towel aside, arranging the messy mop of hair a bit and then giving Eren a soft kiss. “Thank you,” Eren chirps, changing his position a little in order to wrap his arms around Levi and pull him against his chest.

“How have you gotten so fucking tall?” Levi complains, yet settles deeper into Eren's embrace. “You're like a tree or something, it's ridiculous.”

“I'm your tree, though,” Eren says, and it really must be the dumbest thing he's ever said.

“Ridiculous,” Levi repeats with a shake of his head, drawing out each syllable. He seems content wrapped up in Eren's arms, though, occasionally sipping at his tea as he leans back.

As they sit there quietly, Eren's attention drifts away from the flames, his gaze turning to Levi's bare skin that's right there under his touch. There are dozens of scars marring his back and shoulders, some a faded white that are barely visible and a few of them darker and more prominent.

Eren skitters his fingers over a long uneven scar that runs all the way from his left shoulder blade and diagonally down his side. “How did you get this?”

“It was during my first titan kill. The fucker slammed me down with its last remaining strength. I don’t remember much of it, to be honest,” Levi replies as he cradles the mug in his hands. “There was a lot blood and shit, but in the end it wasn't nearly as bad as it looked.” Hesitating only a little, Eren leans down to skim his lips over the scar, coming to hover over Levi's shoulder.

“What about this one?” He trails over the curiously shaped one on the skin of his right shoulder.

Unexpectedly, he catches a smile flitting to Levi's face. “That was from a bar fight, actually. Much less heroic. A group of guys from the Military Police were giving us trouble so we kicked their asses. You should've seen the intense angry vibrating of Erwin's eyebrows when he found out.”

While it's somewhat of a happier story, Levi sounds almost wistful, and that's when Eren realizes that this must have been with his old squad. He clings on to Levi, soothing his lips along the expanse of his back and pausing at what must be the largest of the scars, laying on the left side of his spine. “How about this?”

This time Levi's voice grows darker, his face expressionless as he stares into the fire. “Got into some trouble while I was still living in the underground. The wound itself wasn’t that bad but it got really badly infected.”

“Oh.” Eren falls silent at that, not sure what to say, so he simply leans into Levi, doing his best to give comfort via careful touches when words have failed him. His life hasn't been that easy, either, but he can't imagine the troubles Levi must have faced, somehow making through all of them. It really is a testament to how strong he is, not just as a soldier but as a human being.

Levi's shifting around in his arms, turning his head back to glance at Eren. “Hey, I didn't tell you to stop doing that,” he states, sounding a little impatient, and of course Eren complies, going back to tracing over the dozens of scars whose stories remain untold as of yet.

He doesn't know exactly how it happens, but somehow they end up lying on the floor, empty mugs set aside with Eren on top of Levi, kissing along his neck like a man possessed and leaving hickeys here and there. It's kind of romantic, he thinks, ravishing his lover in front of the roaring fire, but Levi doesn't seem to agree with him.

“You're a savage,” he complains in a ragged voice. “Keep it in your pants until we get off of the dirty and uncomfortable floor.”

“Are you kidding me? It's your floor, it's practically sterile,” Eren replies, breaking away from his neck to instead press kisses along the side of his face.

“But still. It's gonna get cold.” Unfortunately Levi's right, but after a couple of moments of thinking, Eren sees a possible solution.

“I think I can reach some of the blankets from your bed from here,” he says and watches Levi's mouth fall open. “I'm not kidding. Come on, it'll be romantic doing it here by the fire and everything.”

“Doing it,” Levi repeats, apparently not approving of Eren's euphemisms. “Fine, then. It's your first time, so why not.”

Eren beams like the sun, rolling off and worming in the direction of Levi's bed. With a couple of determined pulls, he manages to yank down not only the blanket but the pillows as well. Still, in order to make it more comfortable, he shuffles a couple of feet to the side, batting the doors of the closet open. Conveniently, Levi keeps his extra pillows and blankets on the bottom shelf, so Eren can grab them without raising himself up off of the floor.

“You're kind of like a slug or something,” Levi calls out from behind him and Eren giggles, actually giggles. He's always been a lightweight, but that whiskey really must be kicking in now. That, or maybe he's just drunk on the mood.

He's back soon enough, along with a whole pile of pillows and blankets. Though Levi grumbles a little, they arrange them all into a little nest together, and when Eren flops down next to him, he's smiling so wide that his cheeks are starting to hurt.

“See, isn't this lovely?” Eren asks, his hand coming to rest on Levi's shoulder.

Pulling Eren close to him, Levi mumbles, “It's not bad.” His lips brush against Eren's, gentle and light at first, but soon growing more commanding.

When they break apart, Eren's out of breath, his pulse quickening as he stares into Levi's eyes. “We're gonna do it,” he says.

“We are,” Levi confirms, holding his gaze steadily, “as long as you want to, that is.”

Instead of trying to put into words just how much he wants this, Eren kisses him, a little clumsy yet so eager, hands roaming restlessly all over Levi's body. He clings on to the waist of his pants, and, with his hands shaking just a bit, tries to shrug them off, but the attempts are in vain.

“Why are you even wearing pants?” he complains when Levi's hands reach down to rest over his, finishing the job he'd started. His own towel is barely hanging off his hips, and with only a little squirming, he manages to rid himself of it. Now they're skin to skin with nothing in between them, and this is exactly what Eren's been wanting, to feel Levi against him without all the layers of clothing and uniforms and ranks.

“Who knows,” Levi says with a shrug as he winds his arms around Eren. “You were right, though, this is kind of nice.”

“Of course I'm right,” he replies as he cuddles in closer, all but rubbing himself against Levi, feeling his cock stir at the contact. “So, um, how do we go about this thing?”

“However you want, darling,” Levi mutters into his hair. “It's all up to you and what you feel okay with.”

It's a kind answer and one that makes Eren's heart swell, but it's not exactly what he was looking for. “No, I mean like, what position,” he tries again. Even though he's naked in Levi's arms, he still feels a little shy speaking the words out loud. “Do I need to lay on my stomach or something?”

“That would be the easiest, yes.” Very slowly, Levi's hands drift lower and lower, finally coming to rest over his ass. “It won't hurt as much if we start off like that.”

Due to Eren having read his fair share of porn, he at least has some idea how to arrange himself as they unwind themselves from the tangle of limbs and blankets. With a couple of pillows under hips raising his ass in the air, he settles on his stomach, knees braced on the floor.

From this position, all he can see are the blankets and the fireplace, but when he cranes his head a little he catches a glimpse of Levi retrieving a small vial of oil from the pockets of his discarded pants. Without even thinking, he shivers a little at the sight.

“Are you comfortable?” Levi asks, one of his hands coming to rest by the curve of his ass. Comfortable isn't the exact word Eren would use – the pillows under his hips make It more bearable, but at the same time, he's left completely exposed with his ass in the air, and, worst of all, unable to touch Levi.

“Yeah, I'm fine. Miss you, though,” he replies, shifting around a little, his cock rubbing against the softness of the pillow under him. Though he can't see Levi, he can tell from the sound of his voice that he's probably rolling his eyes.

“I'm right here, you dork,” Levi reminds him as he presses a few light kisses along Eren's spine, voice laced with intimate fondness.

“You know what I mean,” Eren says. He attempts to give a shrug, but then he remembers their position. “I can't touch you.”

“But I can touch you.” He hears the smirk in Levi's voice loud and clear, and as his hand wanders down along the crack of his ass, Eren nearly lets out a yelp. “And I gotta say, the view from up here is amazing.”

It takes a second or two for the statement to sink it, but soon Eren's shifting around again,all too aware that Levi can see literally everything. “Now look who's the dork,” he mutters, face flushed and hidden in the pillow.

“You still are,” Levi points out in an amused tone. Both of his hands are lightly squeezing at Eren's buttocks, kneading at the soft flesh. “A dork with a great ass, though.”

It's not something he hears often, so Eren barks out an awkward laugh. “It's just an ass.”

“It's a beautiful ass. Really round and firm.” There are lips skimming along his lower back, Levi's breath fanning out over his skin as he speaks. “And best of all, mine.”

God, that shouldn't be as hot as it is, but Eren can still feel his cock give a small switch against the pillow. “Gee, I thought it was my ass, being attached to the rest of my body and all,” he jokes hoarsely.

“Nope, all mine now,” Levi states, as calm as can be. His teeth scrape against Eren's asscheek, delicate and just a little possessive. “Mine to love and adore and play with.” There's a touch of heavy wickedness in his voice, the kind that goes right to Eren's groin.

“Oh,” he wheezes, all out of retorts. Levi continues to caress over his plump ass, his fingers careful yet determined as he pauses every now and then to press tiny indents into the skin with his nails. There's a slight twinge of pain whenever he does it, but it's more thrilling than truly painful, especially since Levi soothes his lips over the marks afterwards.

“I swear, Eren, every single inch of you is perfect,” he mutters, sounding so genuinely reverent that the only response Eren can manage is soft of a half-groan, half-hum. “I could spend ages just on your ass.”

“That could be nice,” Eren breathes out in what's surely the understatement of the year. He's shamelessly arching back to give Levi better access, to feel more of those loving touches.

“Would you like that, Eren?” Levi's voice is low and sultry as it washes over him. “Being admired and caressed from hours on end?”

“Yeah,” Eren mumbles, his breath hitching at the thought. He'd be lying if he claimed he hadn't spent more than a few nights dreaming of what it would be like to have Levi spoil him rotten in all possible ways.

Slowly and purposefully, Levi trails along between his cheeks, coming to press over his hole. “So lovely, even down here.” He sinks in only what's probably the tip of his finger, and while Eren does let out a surprised gasp at the intrusion, it slips inside quite easily. “Were you stretching yourself out before?”

“Maybe,” Eren replies languidly. Just then, Levi angles down at the rim of his asshole in what's only a light press, but it still somehow manages to light up every nerve in Eren's body.

“What a good boy, always keeping yourself ready for me,” Levi says, the words full of rough approval, and God, that's what Eren is all about.

He makes an embarrassingly high sound at the back of his throat, hips jerking back instinctively. “In that case, maybe you should reward me,” he suggests as he glances back at Levi. Though he tries to go for a coy tone, it sounds more impatient to his own ears.

Levi's eyes flash with something sharp and promising as he brushes a light kiss against the skin of Eren's back. “Maybe I should,” he croons. Under Eren's watchful gaze, he pours out a moderate amount of oil onto his palm, retracting his touch from Eren's hole as he rubs his hands together to warm it up. “Are you nervous?”

The question leaves him silent for a while, laying his head back down on the pillow as he thinks of how to answer. “Not really,” he ends up replying – there is something restless fluttering at the pit of his stomach but he wouldn't exactly call it nervousness. Instead it resembles apprehension, perhaps tinged with a kind of needy longing that drives him to jut his ass even higher into the air. “Should I be?”

A slicked finger presses at his entrance, teasing and rubbing over it. “Of course not. I'm going to take care of you,” Levi promises, all sugary sweet and achingly tender as he nudges his finger in deeper, just by a couple of inches. “It's okay if you're nervous, though.”

His eyes fall closed, an endlessly deep flurry of emotions nestling in his chest, and damn it, those are definitely tears welling up behind his tightly shut lids. It's making his head spin, hearing Levi speak to him in such intimate tones and touch him like he's the most precious thing in the world. This is all his, every kind word and featherlight kiss pressed into his back, this is all his, perhaps for the rest of forever, and fuck, that's one overwhelming realization.

“I trust you,” Eren rasps, willing his voice not to shake with the ferocity of the love he feels for Levi, amazing, kind Levi who's always taking such good care of him. “But you really need to put something in me right away.” He's pretty sure he's already ruined Levi's fluffy pillow with all the precome he's leaking out, but Levi doesn't seem to either notice or mind as he thumbs over Eren's hole, gently spreading his cheeks wider.

His ass accepts Levi's finger easily as it pushes further into him, and God, it's only one finger, much more slender than Eren's own, but it fits inside of him so nicely. As Levi crooks it slightly to nudge at his walls, Eren releases out a long, content breath.

“Have you done it like this on your own as well?” Levi inquires, and when Eren buries his face deeper into the pillow instead of responding, he presses down at that one particularly sensitive spot inside of him and makes him squirm. “How was it? How many fingers did you get in?”

He thinks back on the numerous nights in the communal showers when everyone else had gone, thinks of how he must have looked like with his legs spread wide open and his cock hard from just a couple of light touches over his hole, images of him and Levi together whirring in his head. “Only two, I think,” Eren says at last, a quiet moan spilling forth from his lips when he feels a second finger lightly tracing at his hole.

“That's really well, though,” Levi commends him. The finger in Eren's ass is constantly stroking and massaging, which is making it difficult to focus on what Levi's actually saying. “All on your own, such a good boy. Were you thinking of me?” His tone is light – almost playful – in a way that's very uncommon of him, and Eren loves it, _loves_ that he's the only one who gets to hear it.

“I was,” he admits breathlessly. “Thinking of you and me doing things.”

“Doing things, huh,” Levi echoes his words back to him with a hint of amusement. “Go on. What kind of things?”

“You know, kissing and touching and stuff.” The second finger pushes into his ass, and it's such a snug fit that Eren lets out a hiss. “Thought about what it would be like to have you in me.”

As if sensing his discomfort, Levi brushes a trail of kisses along his back. “Just relax, darling. You've been dreaming about that for a while now, haven't you?” he murmurs, his breath hot over Eren's skin.

“You have no idea,” Eren groans. “For years.”

“Well, I'm all yours now. No dreaming needed,” Levi nearly purrs as he twists his fingers just slightly, working Eren's hole open with such thorough gentleness that all Eren can do is clutch the pillow, his mouth caught half-open with low pants spilling forth. “I'm going to have to dote on you and fill you up a whole lot from now on to make up for it.”

By now Eren's so worked up that he's shaking, each kind word just amping up his arousal. “Fuck, Levi, yes. Please do,” he calls out, pushing himself back into the fingers. As they bump against his prostate, Eren's vision explodes into frantic brightness for a few short seconds, a low groan wrecking through his body.

“Here?” Levi inquires with mock innocence , pressing down against that spot again and making Eren squirm. “Look at you, so excited just from this. Oh, Eren, you sweet little thing, I'm going to ruin you with pleasure.”

The hushed promise echoes through Eren's head, his hips jerking back mindlessly. God, that's exactly what he's wanted for so long now, to be unraveled and laid bare by Levi, and if just a couple of his fingers can bring Eren such mind-numbing pleasure, he really is going to be ruined when Levi finally enters him.

Levi twists his fingers inside of him, dragging across his walls in the most exquisite way. “You're far too good at this,” Eren pants, his hands clenching into fists as Levi spreads his fingers a little wider.

“Thanks, I've been practising.” Levi rewards him with another brush against his prostate. “That's very kind of you to say, though. Always so considerate.”

Eren whips his head back to glance at Levi so fast that he can almost hear his neck give a creak. “Practising,” he says, trying to come across as nonchalant as he can, even though he's struck with sudden blazing jealousy. “On who?”

For a second or two, Levi looks taken aback, but soon his features melt into a tiny smile. “On myself, Eren, for fuck's sake.” With a roll of his eyes, he leans down in order to soothe his lips over the curve of Eren's ass. “Do you think I'd go and shove my fingers into just about anyone's ass?”

Oh. Right. His cheeks aflame, he turns back into the pillow, caught between feeling silly for his sudden outburst yet also incredibly turned on at the thought of Levi doing that to himself. “I don't know, you could probably get whoever you wanted to practice with you,” he mutters, breaking into a moan when a third finger pushes at the rim of his hole.

“I only want you,” Levi whispers into the skin of his lower back, raw and quiet, and Eren's sure that he's going to fall apart right there and then from the gentleness in Levi's voice.

“You have me,” he whimpers, grinding himself back into the wonderful pressure, a tiny frustrated huff leaving him when those fingers don't quite make contact with his prostate.

“And I'm so grateful for that, you have no idea.” After adding a touch of more oil, Levi slides in a third finger, and though Eren's head is turned away, he can sense the intense stare Levi's giving him. Apparently he's noticed Eren tensing up since there's a trace of concern in his voice when he continues. “Are you doing okay? It doesn't hurt?”

“It's fine, just give me a minute,” he replies from between clenched teeth. It's not really painful, but there is a certain discomfort throbbing at the stretched and sensitive rim of his hole. Now that's the fingers inside of him are sitting still, Eren wills himself to relax, taking on a sly tone as he asks, “Were you thinking of me when you were doing this to yourself, by the way?”

“That's a story for another day.” There's laughter dancing in Levi's voice, and damn, Eren really wishes he could see his face right now. “But to be honest, I'm always thinking of you nowadays. It's kind of gross how smitten you have me.”

“Yes, give me more words,” Eren demands feebly. He needs to hear it, needs to hear about all the thoughts Levi's had of him. “Please.”

“There, there, darling.” He feels Levi stroking just by his prostate, fingers avoiding that spot that Eren's desperate for him to touch. “I've jerked off so many times thinking about you, but this is way better than anything I could have imagined. You look so beautiful right now, you really ought to see yourself.” As Eren tries to wiggle his hips back, settles his other hand over hips, rubbing calming circles into his skin. “All spread open and flustered. Does it feel good?”

There's no mistaking the teasing edge in his voice. Groaning into the pillow, Eren tries his hardest to keep from arching back further. “Fuck, yes,” he chokes out when Levi presses down slightly. All of him is thrumming with the need to feel Levi, and not just like this, but to run his hands through his hair and to map out his body with careful, reverent touches – to give back even a fraction of the sweet adoration Levi's lavished him with. “Are you finally going to put it in me?”

“Maybe. Then again, I'd love to spend a whole night just pleasing you like this,” Levi drawls hoarsely, the press of his fingers against Eren's walls maddeningly slow. “Do you think you're ready for it?”

“I'm so ready,” he replies, and he is, he's been ready for ages, but he really needs to touch Levi right now or he's going to die. “I can't take it, let's change positions. You're so far away.”

“I'm three fingers deep in your ass, that's not exactly far away,” Levi quips, but he seems to understand the point, regrettably withdrawing said fingers from his ass to maneuver the two of them into a better position.

In a whirl of pillows and blankets and laughter in between chaste kisses, they end up with Eren propped up on Levi's lap, arms wrapped around his neck with Levi's hand rubbing over his back. Here is perfect, because here he can soak up Levi's solid and safe warmth under him and plant tiny kisses all over his face, feeling Levi's lips curl up into a smile against his own.

“Much better,” Eren mumbles into Levi's mouth as he presses their bodies flush together. “I like having you close to me.” Each tiny movement and shift of Levi's muscles carries over to him, making him all the more aware of how closely slotted together they are.

“Oh, Eren, me too,” Levi breathes out, skittering light touches down along his back, coming to settle by his ass. “You're such a sweetheart, so lovely and gentle. Look at how hard you've made me already, all just from watching you.” He gives a sloppy thrust of his hips, nudging his erection together with Eren's. Both of their cocks are flushed and hard as they rub together, and as Eren reaches down to wrap his fingers around the base of Levi's cock, it gives a faint twitch against his hand.

“It's bigger than I remembered,” he states with a trace of awe in his voice, running a thumb along its side. Much bigger than anything he's ever had in him, and for a moment he hesitates – is that really going to fit in his ass?

Levi grins at him, eyes alight with fondness. “It's only like that when you're around,” he replies, planting a kiss on the tip of Eren's nose. “I love you so much, Eren, you know that, right?” After Eren's given a nod in response, he goes on. “If you want to take a break or stop completely you just have to say so, it's okay.” The words are spoken in a low tone that's laced with volumes of ardent reverence, and hearing Levi speak like that to him causes Eren to shiver a little – while Levi's shown him nothing but care and patience so far, there's an audible edge of lust in his voice.

“Of course. I trust you,” Eren says again, leaning into Levi and pressing innocent kisses along the side of his face. “You're always so kind to me, making me feel safe and loved.” With a lazy smirk, he traces over the head of Levi's cock, then lightly skimming all the way down the shaft. “I'm so ready for you to just fuck me already.”

There are slick fingers pressing at his hole again, slipping inside with ease. “Well, since you're asking so nicely,” Levi purrs, spreading his ass as wide open as he can. “You've done such a great job taking my fingers, so I know you can take my cock as well. Just relax, we can go as slow as you want.”

“Or as fast as I want?” Eren inquires with hooded eyes as he scoots up, positioning himself over Levi's cock.

Levi gives a little admonishing click of his tongue. “Patience is a virtue. Besides, I'd rather make you beg for it first.” The tip of his cock nudges at his ass as his hands move aside to spread Eren's buttocks apart, his voice dropping to a demanding whisper. “Tell me how much you want it, darling.”

Clinging to his shoulders, Eren chokes out, “So much. Like, a whole lot.” It's possibly the least eloquent he's ever been, but he hopes that the slight tremble in his voice and his tight grip on Levi convey at least some of the intense need clouding his head. “I've spent the last week thinking about nothing but your cock in me.”

“Really? So lewd of you, Eren,” Levi croons. He's lingering right by his entrance now, brushing at it with the lightest pressure that's nearly not yet enough for his cock to slide inside. “I wish I could've been there to watch you get off all those times. Hopefully you didn't use any sausages or cucumbers.” A trace of amusement fingers in his voice and it causes Eren's lips to quirk upwards as well.

“Nope, only my fingers, just like you told me to,” he replies in a breathy moan.

As if reading the wordless request from Eren's flushed features, Levi gives an approving nod. “Good boy,” he says, and almost simultaneously, pushes the head of his cock inside Eren.

Relax, relax, Eren tries to remind himself, but those signals aren't reaching the rest of his body since he can feel all of his muscles tense up at the stretch that feels much wider than the fingers. His jaw falls slack as he draws in a long breath. “Fuck, sorry. It's really tight,” he groans.

“Yeah, you're telling me,” Levi replies in a clipped tone, and when Eren's glances at him, he can tell that he's holding back – his brows are furrowed and he's biting on his lip so hard that it looks mildly painful.

Allowing himself to get used to the feel of something so large inside of him, Eren leans forward and kisses Levi, slow and gentle. “Don't do that,” he murmurs when they break apart, flicking his tongue over the spot Levi had been chewing on.

“Sorry,” Levi breathes out in response. Only a little shaky, he rubs up along Eren's back in soothing motions. “Are you doing alright, love?”

“I'm fine, just need a moment.” It doesn't really hurt, but the sense of fullness caressing at him from the inside is so foreign to him that he's pretty sure he'll be split in half if he sinks down on it too fast.

“Of course, anything for you,” Levi's quick to agree as he kisses along Eren's neck, teeth scraping over the sensitive skin. “Just relax, Eren, you're such a good boy and I'm so proud of you. So glad you let me have you like this.” There's that adoring hushed tone again that Eren craves to hear, washing over him and setting his stomach aflutter with nervous arousal.

With his hands winding around Levi tighter, Eren admits quietly. “I want to be a good boy for you.” That's the only thing that can fit in his head at the moment, all of him thrumming with the intense desire to be good for Levi, to take in all of him and please him the best he can.

“And you are, love, you're so perfect,” Levi whispers against Eren's jaw, earnest and rough. His hands wander lower to skim over the crack of Eren's ass, coming to massage over the stretched rim of his hole. “My sweet boy, my darling Eren. Best I could've ever asked for.”

With many more praises and encouragement muttered into his skin, along with gentle kisses, Eren finds the tension slowly seeping away. He's warm and safe here, kept grounded by Levi's strong arms and his attentive gaze. Very slowly, Eren sinks down lower on his cock, letting it fill him up until he has all of it inside him. At that point he has to take a break again, simply because he's so damn full that he doesn't even know what to do with himself.

His eyes flicker to Levi's face and luckily he sees that same wrecked look on his features. Even if this wasn't the first time for both of them, he'd be willing to bet it would still be just as overwhelming – eight whole months of waiting and pining and furious jerking off to thoughts of each other tend to do that.

“What's it like?” Eren questions, feigning innocence as he glances at Levi from between his lashes. In a sudden burst of confidence, he clenches down on Levi experimentally, a smirk rising to his face when the action causes Levi to snap his hips up. “Being inside of me.”

At first, Levi's only response is a muffled groan, but when Eren gives a slow roll of his hips, he grinds out, “Fuck, Eren, you have no idea.” His head is thrown back, eyes clenched shut and mouth hanging open, and it's such a lovely look on him that Eren can't resist leaning down to kiss him.

“Go on, use your words,” he murmurs against Levi's lips, “tell me.”

“It's amazing, you feel so good, darling,” Levi replies in a shaky voice. One of his hands reaches up to card through Eren's hair in loving motions. “Look at you, Eren, so perfect for me, such a good boy. Do you feel good as well?”

Now that he's gotten used to the feel of Levi's cock spreading him open, each move of his hips brings on a whole new kind of satisfaction that rushes through him. When he raises himself up a little and then sinks down again, he can feel the slide of Levi's cock in his ass, and 'good' doesn't even begin to cover it.

“Yeah,” he says, but it comes out as more of a whimper since Levi gives a faint thrust at just the right angle, his cock coming to press against Eren's prostate. “Fuck, Levi, yes, that's so hot.”

“I can tell. You're really turned on already, aren't you?” There's a hand brushing over Eren's cock and when he looks down, he sees his own hardness straining against his stomach, Levi's slender fingers stroking up along its shaft. “So lovely, Eren, always so responsive whenever I touch you. Go on, let me see you get yourself off.”

Driven by the gentle encouragement, Eren rocks back on his cock, a sigh escaping him as he relishes in feeling the hard length move inside of him. With Levi's hand moving over his own erection in languid strokes, his orgasm is rapidly approaching, but he holds it off, muffling the desperate groan that nearly makes its way out when Levi rubs over the head of his cock.

“No, no, make as much noise as you'd like,” Levi tells him when he catches him, dragging him down for a sweet kiss. “I wanna hear what you sound like when you're right at the edge.”

Eren rests their foreheads together, his breath coming out in short pants as he shifts his hips in search of more stimulation. “I'm really close already, though,” he wheezes and holds on to Levi, grinding himself down on his lap.

“I know, it's okay, you can come any time you want,” Levi assures him. “What a good boy you are, my perfect, lovely Eren, you're doing so well.”

The praises make it that much harder to keep it together, and Eren has to close his eyes and count to ten in order to not blow his load right there and then. “Can you, I mean,” he starts off, and damn, he literally has Levi balls deep in his ass, this is not the time to get all shy. “Can you do it first? I want to feel it in me.”

As soon as the stammered request has left his mouth, Levi's pressing kisses all over his face, his voice shakier than before as he replies, “Fuck, you can't just say things like that. You're going to kill me one of these days.” The ticklish sensation of Levi's lips skimming over his forehead makes Eren laugh, but it soon turns into a moan when Levi gives a sharp thrust of his hips. “Anything for you, darling, I'd give you just about anything if you asked. Such a wonderful, kind soul, you deserve absolutely everything.”

All of him is thrumming under Levi's touch and his sweet words, and as Eren clenches down on his cock, something like a sob falls out from his slack mouth. “Fuck, yes, thank you, thank you,” Eren chants, barely recognizing his broken and garbled voice. “Thank you so much, Levi, I love you.”

“Oh, Eren, you're such a sweetheart, I'm so glad you're mine.” The words sound like they're coming from miles away, but even so they're filled with raw tenderness. “You're my good boy, my gorgeous Eren. I'm going to take such good care of you.”

He's right fucking there, about to come undone, can practically hear the rush of release roaring through his veins. “I can't hold off much longer,” Eren says in what's only a whimper, or at least he tries to – it comes out as a lot less intelligible, but Levi seems to understand anyway since he pauses to rub over the base of Eren's cock.

“Me too,” he chokes out, his breath hot against Eren's neck. “It's okay, darling, you're doing so well. Can you finish together with me?”

Eren's not sure, but he's sure as hell going to try. “Yeah,” he pants, nails digging into Levi's shoulders as he holds on. “Fuck, it's too good.”

“I know, love, I know,” Levi replies in a tone that's just as breathy as his. “You're making me feel amazing, Eren, so fucking perfect.”

He tries to respond to that, he really does, but the pressure on his prostate and Levi's hand working over his cock are driving him closer and closer to his completion, his world full of nothing but blinding pleasure and hushed praises.

Though Eren's too far gone to make note of anything, he's fairly certain he screams out when he comes, low vibrations wracking his throat. His ass clamps down on Levi's cock, and what does register to him is the long, low groan that sounds from Levi as he too comes, only seconds after Eren.

All that matters during those few short eternities is the throb of Levi's cock inside of him, filling him up so perfectly and coating his walls with hot come. Angling himself just right, Eren feels it drag over his prostate, sending shockwaves through him. He makes sure to ride it all out, grinding and clenching down on Levi's cock for as long as he can while his own cock oozes out its last few drops, both his and Levi's stomachs splattered with the white stickiness.

Once he's all tired out and too sensitive to bear it, Eren slumps against Levi's chest, breathing out a long sigh. He makes a vague sound at the back of his throat, trying to communicate something, but it doesn't come close to resembling anything meaningful.

Levi gets his breath back before him, it seems, as he pulls Eren down next to him, his softening cock slipping out of his ass. “Eren, holy fuck,” he gasps, throwing an arm around him lazily and nuzzling into his hair. “You're fucking amazing, you know that?”

Words are still beyond him, so Eren responds with a faint groan, worming closer towards the comforting heat of Levi's body. The fire in the fireplace has been reduced to burning ashes, and now that he's coming down from his high, there's a chill creeping over his bare skin and making him shiver.

“Are you cold?” Levi asks, reaching out to cup Eren's jaw, and damn, there's so much love in those usually stern grey eyes that it takes a while for the question to even register to Eren.

“A little,” he replies, surprised at how worn out he sounds. In an instant, Levi's reaching out to grab one of the blankets, draping it over the both of them and drawing Eren close to him, legs twining together with his.

For a few blissful moments, they do nothing but lay there, breaths mingling with one another and lazy hands roaming over sweat-slicked skin. The sound of Levi's breath evening out is so calming that Eren nearly finds himself dozing off, only snapping back to reality when he hears Levi speak up again.

“We should probably get off the floor,” he says and makes no attempt of doing so, stroking at Eren's hair absent-mindedly.

“It's nice here,” Eren protests and curls in closer to him. He doesn't ever want to move, his limbs heavy and limp as he basks in the aftermath. Not even the hard stone floor underneath him can ruin this quiet atmosphere.

“You're not uncomfortable?” There's the lightest brush against his lower back. “Or hurting?”

Stretching his legs out a little and draping himself further on top of Levi, he gives a faint shrug. “Not really.” Apart from a bit of soreness and the mess that's slowly dripping out of him, all is well. “Probably gonna need another shower, though.”

With a faint smile, Levi replies, “Yeah, that's kind of my fault. Maybe I should take responsibility and clean you up.” His voice holds an edge of something coy and indulgent, promising Eren even more attention and affection, and Eren's not one to turn down such an offer.

“Sounds good,” he purrs into Levi's chest, possessively hooking a leg around his. “Can we lay here for just a while, though? It's so comfy.”

“It's the floor,” Levi quips with disbelief, but even so, doesn't show any signs of getting up – in fact, he only clings on to Eren tighter, brushing a kiss into his hair.

Eren can't argue with that statement, but it's also so much more – it's the warmth weight of the blanket, the comfort and safety of Levi's arms around him and the steadying knowledge that he is loved in all the possible ways.

“It's you,” Eren ends up saying in a quiet voice, and though it doesn't come close to conveying the curious thrum of emotions swirling through his head, it's good enough for now – Levi mumbles something sweet into his hair, holding on to him so gently, and this is good enough.

**Author's Note:**

> yooo more praise kink?? mmmmoooore praise kink ~~~
> 
> come and say hi to me on tumblr at http://crying-abt-fictional-people.tumblr.com


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